I want a do over

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by summertime421, Oct 14, 2014.

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  1. summertime421

    summertime421 New Member

    I feel like I've completely thrown my life away. I started college this year and I'm doing horribly. I'm not going to most of my classes, not doing homework. I just sit in bed all day. I've just gotten so behind that I just can't do this anymore. I feel guilty for wasting my parents' money, and for wasting my professors' time. My parents think I'm doing so much better, but I am honestly so much worse than I've ever been. I feel like a burden to everyone and I don't think my friends like me anymore. I just wish I wasn't here anymore. I wish I could start college over. I know I'd do better and I'd try harder, because I hate myself for doing this to myself. I wish I could tell my friends about this, but whenever I try to talk to them about this kind of stuff, they just act so weird around me and they don't help at all. They just end up telling other people and I just hate that. I just don't know what to do. I don't know if this will make any sense to anyone, my mind is just going a little crazy right now.
  2. looking4hope

    looking4hope Member

    Wow. Reading this is like reading from my own diary. I'm a junior in college but last year I tried to commit suicide because my depression got so bad, a lot of it had to do with the stress from college and the feeling like I was failing at life. I stopped going to classes and literally stayed in bed all day. I got better once professionals stepped in after I was admitted to hospital. Or so I thought. 'Cause here I am a year later and pretty much in same place. Didn't go to class at all last week. It's like I get this voice in my head that basically says "you're going to end up failing so why even bother". & once I miss one class I feel like the professor hates me so then I'm scared to go to class the next day... I completely get everything you said. I feel so alone even though I have loving parents and a couple close friends. Doubt this will help you at all but just wanted you to know you aren't alone. <3 -SK
  3. Butterfly

    Butterfly Resident SF Sims Enthusiast Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Why are you not attending classes and staying in bed all day? Is it because you are depressed? If you are feeling depressed you should go and see a doctor about it because it is treatable. You may also be able to ask your tutors for extensions on deadlines so you can catch up on your work a little.
  4. summertime421

    summertime421 New Member

    I completely understand what you're going through. Our situations seem like they are the exact same. It really is comforting to know that I'm not the only one who feels like this. Thank you <3
    And yes I am depressed. Very much so. I just feel like I'm not ready for college or I don't even know if college is for me. But I don't know what else I would do with my life and I'm just so stressed out and scared, so I just lay in bed all day trying to avoid my problems.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 14, 2014
  5. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    You need to find a way to get out of bed and go talk to the counselor there and your adviser. Find out for real if it is possible to catch up or not and withdraw from any classes that are impossible to catch up on so that you do not get saddled with an impossible to recover from GPA as well. By withdrawing from the classes as needed, getting started on a treatment for the depression, then yes, you can essentially get a do over either next semester or next year when you have figured out the answers to the questions you are asking yourself. Getting treatment and help is not shameful but doing absolutely nothing now you have recognized the problem will only make things worse.
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