i want a guys opinion

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by ellie, Apr 27, 2007.

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  1. ellie

    ellie Member

    well my life sucks even more, just recently i went out with some friends, we had fun drank a little and were ready to leave. a taxi came and picked them up and i was going to take the next taxi that was coming by myself. so i was waiting when a guy came up to me and started flirting, i kind of brushed him off but he said to come a stand back away from the crowds outside the club so i did thinking i was out of the way, then he started really hitting on me then began to push me into a corner away from the crowd, he pushed me onto the floor and started to rip off my clothes and said that i was too hot to pass up, i was so scared i was already kind of wonky from the drinks i took and i got so mad i kicked him in the balls, he screamed and i ran as fast as i could out of sight, he tried to chase after me but i knew i wasnt being followed, i kno who he is because he used to go to my school but what can i do about it?
    anyway
    i want to kno what a guy thinks of what happens when this happens to a girl, i kno what a females perspective is of this but i want to hear from the males, maybe you dont care, fine but i would like to have your opinion
     
  2. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    Ill never understand why some guys think they have a divine right to take it a step to far...ok flirting is fine, its not only fine, but its part of forming relationships, for mine, a guy shouldnt really touch you unless you seem obviously receptive, and you clearly indicate you would like that. Mmm not always easy to read from a guys perspective, safer to wait for her to take that step, but then again you could be waiting forever if thats the case. Ripping at your clothes? forcing you into a corner? touching private areas? his crossed the line at that point, his taking advantage... The guy is a scumbag..im glad it didnt escalate further.

    Im a male, and that behaviour is NOT on imo.
     
  3. Syd

    Syd Guest

    I think the guy needs to be locked away, and needs professional help. It is debatable though, as to whether or not treatment works successfully with adults. People with such poor control over aggression are dangerous to themselves and everyone around them. They're prone to domestic violence, harming others (even murder) and abusing substances (I don't doubt the guy was an alcoholic). It's not something that's easy to understand, even for most guys. I realize that males tend to act this way more often than females, but the majority of men (even under heavy influence of alcohol or drugs) would never use that kind of force on someone, especially a stranger. It reveals serious psychological problems, and it's very sad that our society is not doing more to prevent the neglect and abuse that leads to children growing up to become criminals.
     
  4. ellie

    ellie Member

    thankyou both so much for what you wrote, at least i kno there are guys out there who wouldnt do that. because of what has happened to me i am too scared to get close to a guy and it just makes me feel so alone. thanks again
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 27, 2007
  5. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    I just want to say, that your friends should never leave you to wait for a cab on your own. :sad: We girls especially should stick together. And especially outside a club after dark when under the influence of alcohol.

    I'm glad it didn't get any further, but please don't let yourself end up alone like that again :hug:

    ~Nobody~ x
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 27, 2007
  6. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    :yes: :(
     
  7. paranoidxe

    paranoidxe Well-Known Member

    The guy is a jackass that is pretty well established. No decent guy would do this, unfortunately you aren't going to meet any gentlemen at a club, usually at a club the only thing the guys care about is getting a little booty.

    If you are at a club, stick together with friends and don't let anyone get you out of their sight.

    Not to defend his actions, but perhaps this retard can't control his alcohol.
     
  8. worlds edge

    worlds edge Well-Known Member

    This sort of thing is not acceptable, is in fact never acceptable. It was attempted rape from your description. At an absolute minimum he assaulted you. That's my "opinion" of this matter.

    This part I'm afraid I can't offer much in the way of help. Part of me thinks you should go to the police and swear out a complaint, but the whole legal process might result in nothing, might even result in you getting dragged through psychic mud if it goes to trial. I'd like to think that such creatures as this one always get their comeupance, but it doesn't always seem to work out that way. :sad:
     
  9. Nosmanic

    Nosmanic Active Member

    I just wanted to add that what you did is what I would want a daughter of mine to do.:smile: He'll think twice next time he thinks about hurting another woman. You are a strong courageous woman. I REALLY mean it.

    Thank You and Never Stop Fighting
     
  10. DarnTired

    DarnTired Antiquitie's Friend

    There are lots of different type of drunks in this world: some get happy, some get down, some get silly, some get loud and some start dancing.

    And some get mean.

    What you had there was a mean drunk. I've seen them before. You can't talk your way around them. Getting the hell away from him was the best move.

    I used to know a mean drunk who lived two doors down from me. He came over and invited me to poker parties. Once he got a couple of drinks in him, he was screaming and yelling and mouthing off to everybody. I can count on no fingers how many times I went back there. I always felt sorry for his wife.

    That's this guys opinion. And yes, I care.
     
  11. InnerStrength

    InnerStrength Well-Known Member

    This guy acted like a douchebag, that's what I think. He had no right to do that, and gives guys in general a bad rap. Not to hijack the thread, but women can sometimes put sexual pressure on a man, and think it's their god given right to do so (not saying this is a stereotype, but you see it happen often enough). I think sexual harrassment can happen with both genders. Although, of course it happens more to females.

    Anyway, I think more women should carry Tazers, would stop the bastards in their tracks...
     
  12. ellie

    ellie Member

    "women should carry Tazers" ?? i am sorry but that makes me so mad, we live in a world where women have to resort to this?? its PATHETIC!!!!! it is so sad because its true.
     
  13. Flight

    Flight Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry that this asshole ruined your night and scared you like that. It's assault, and the bastard deserves more than a good kick in the nuts (although - I think it's awesome that you got him with that, some may disagree, but whatever).

    It's assault. It's similar to a guy getting randomly beat up by another guy just as he's leaving a club. That's an unprovoked attack, and very much against the law.

    What he did was wrong. I wish it never had to happen to anyone. I wish that it never happened to you.

    You did nothing wrong. You shouldn't have to carry a tazer or travel in a group of friends, because living with that fear isn't right either. But the world is a fucked up place.

    Take care of yourself, alright?
    And to all the gentlemen who replied,
    "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
    Remember that we can make a difference, even in a world where women are forced into carrying tazers...
     
  14. p3cky

    p3cky Account Closed

    me as a male i think its gross just thinking of rapping someone is like not cool i don't know how that could fill anyones sexaul desire
     
  15. Dunno

    Dunno Guest

    It's totally unacceptable, and that's coming from a guy that is extremely highly sexed and never gets any cause girls just hate me. Even with the frustration I constantly walk around with I could never resort to that.
     
  16. Greenforest

    Greenforest Well-Known Member

    I'd like to see him beaten up. And every others who do such. He possibly isn't a rapist yet, but with that attitude will become one. He should be taken away before anything happens.

    Rapists are people who I really hate. They don't respect humanity. Women should be respected, they should be protected. Every time I read the paper and there's another rape, my blood starts to boil. There have been too many rapes recently here where gangs of men have raped young girls. Others keep her still while one does his crime. Some Africans even used scissors to mutilate the genitals of the victim after rape.

    But rape is no big crime in the eyes of the court. They ruin lives but walk away after couple of months. We should hang the rapists, like they do in Middle East.
     
  17. hammockmonkey

    hammockmonkey Well-Known Member

    I'd punch him. The guy is a pathetic person that needs help. Its just to bad he won't get help until he commits rape. Maybe, don't know if it will help, but tell the police maybe they can do something . . . .
     
  18. ellie

    ellie Member

    the police won't beat him up for me, but i thank all of u, you did make me feel better and im hoping that i will eventually overcome this...i thought that waiting 4 minutes for a cab by myself would be easy but actually i get abused and i dont know how i can get over this besides believing it is my fault
     
  19. itachi

    itachi Well-Known Member

    That Guy is a Fucker, and deserves a good and proper kicking.

    If you want i have no problems beating him to death with his own shoes.

    Stay Strong Hun :hug:

    Luv, Josh
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 4, 2007
  20. so lonely

    so lonely Member

    Hey Ellie,

    It's definately not your fault. You did nothing wrong. You were entitled to stand waiting for a cab. You were polite and spoke to him. It was him that was fully in the wrong by tricking you into moving away from the crowd.

    Next time, although you know you should still be able to stand and wait for a cab alone, we all know you wont. You survived this and you will never let yourself be tricked again.

    I'm not really too good at writing what I think, so apologies if I've missed some crucial advice.

    It definately wasn't your fault!!!

    XXX

    (Jas 656 has hit the nail on the head)
     
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