Im really just overwhelmed by my life, when I wake up I sometimes cant believe im who I am. I know people have it worse than me but I feel like life has been really unfair to me. Im not depressed over a girl, or over some other stupid thing that people seem to be so caught up on. Im 22 years old and I look like im 15 years old. I weigh a 120 pounds and im 5'9, I have the smallest bone structure of anyone i've ever seen my age. My mother has the same body type, and I just think im never going to fill out. I cannot gain weight no matter how much I eat, maybe im not trying hard enough? It's so depressing everyday seeing my younger brothers all twice my weight, wearing whatever they want and everything fitting them. Im tired of people looking at me and more than likely thinking im some crackhead or something, when I dont even drink. I have never been in love, its depressing seeing my brothers bring home their girlfriends everyday and here I am the oldest son that just sits in his room all day. I have something wrong with my stomach, it makes me burp all the time, makes my heart pound and sometimes makes me throw up, after spending money that I dont even have to begin with the doctor did'nt find anything wrong with me. I fear my gums are receding, my teeth are alot bigger than they used to be but the dentist is'nt concerned... he just blows it off as me being paranoid when I have the molds that were took of my teeth 3 years ago and there is a big difference in the size of my teeth. I also have bad breath, when I ask the dentist about it he just says to keep doing what i've been doing... what kind of advice is that? Another thing about my teeth is their yellow... yeah yellow I dont know why I brush them, I take care of them, I've paid X amount of money on the newest laser treatment or whitening gel and nothing works. I guess if I ever really want to smile i'll have to pay 10k+ plus dollars for verners that i'll have to have replaced in 10 years. I pay all this money that I dont have... I dont even have a full time job. I work maybe 1 day a week if im lucky and they the doctors just take my money and do nothing for me. I have terrible anxiety, I have trouble sleeping at night and I always feel like shit. I have funnel chest, I have a freakin bowl in the center of my chest and it looks so bad, and you know how much that costs to have fixed? I saw estimates of 20k dollars. lol 20k dollars to just be able to have a chest like everyeone else? If I spent all this money that I dont have, then I could be normal like everyone else? Thats a crock of shit. I have no desire to do anything in life anymore. I know I need to decide what I want to do and go back to school, but I cant imagine doing anything that I would like. The army did'nt take me because of my anxiety and I just dont know what it is I want to do with my life. I have nothing to offer the opposite sex, I really dont even have that much of a desire anymore. It just seems like so much to overcome, when theres such an easier way out. My plan was to join the army and die overseas a hero, but that dream was shot down, shot down because I saw someone for my anxiety because of something someone did to me. Why could'nt I have been dealth a better deck of cards? I mean should I even have any hope? Whats the point of it? So in 5 years after spending so much money on this and that trying to take care of what life has gave me I can look and be like everyone else?