I want a room to be alone in for the rest of my life

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by AllHopeisgone, Feb 4, 2010.

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  1. AllHopeisgone

    AllHopeisgone New Member

    I hate myself and the way i am and i have tried everything within my power to help myself.

    When i was 19 i was happy and smiley and loved life, then it went all downhill form there, i developed spots on my skin that to this day have never been explained or treated they are benign, i became over sensitve to them and gradually developed BDD because of it.

    I became a recluse and stopped talking to everyone and became more and more obsessed with these spots, spending hours and hours in fornt of the mirror staring at them and hoping they would go away, i stopped taking care of myself and just lost all will to live, i would get in fights every weekend and jump in front of taxi's.......

    After the breakdown i went really into myself and became very sensitive unable to talk to people and just basically a shell, then i began to develop other problems SEb DErmatitis in my sclap and lots of hairloss and im now 25 with all these symptoms gradually worsening.

    Ive also been diagnosed with a PRolactinoma and developed Gynecomastia, i cant stand the sight of myself, havent been in a relationship since this all started and cant even think of one until im sorted.

    Long story short im BDD,OCD, and losing my mind.

    And to make matters the one girl ive always loved has came back into my life and has made it known she likes me and i had to teel her i didnt feel the same to avoid teleling her why i cant be with her for real and now she is ignoring me.....

    I showered 6 times today and spent all day mirror checking.....
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 4, 2010
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    It's good you've come here to post. You need to talk about this and sort things out. How common is this illness of the skin that you have? Are there websites that have information about it?

    It's so easy to become overwhelmed about what to do, what to try. Also, it's hard to wait for results; what to do to have a daily life while waiting. I know that when I become overwhelmed, I stop what I have going for me.

    Please keep posting here about what you find out and what can be tried and to get encouragement from us to be patient for results. Results may come in small increments at a time.

    Please consider telling your friend the truth. The truth hurts at times, and the consequences are hard at times, but people know you are truthful and that will earn you trust which is a precious thing to have.
  3. AllHopeisgone

    AllHopeisgone New Member

  4. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Cool, thanks for the links. I'll check them out and give you some feed back. Give me a couple of days to go through them.
  5. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Those are very good links, and I was able to get important information immediately. This looks like a step by step thing to deal with.

    Have you been diagnosed as having a tumor on your pituitary gland? And/or been described any of the medications listed in other causes for prolactinoma?
  6. TerrapinStation

    TerrapinStation Well-Known Member

    I think you messed up with the girl. Should have told her you like her too, but there's all these issues with you, and you dont feel comfotable being with someone who might not understand. Chances are she'd ask what the issues were, giving you a chance to explain, If ashe really liked you for you, which im guessing she does, she might have been able to look past it all, even help you. The good news is i dont think its too late. Call, her, catch her when she's alone and explain. Tell her you were scared of what her reaction would be so you lied and said you werent interested. I'd put money on it going good from there provided shes a good,nonsuperficial person.
    Try it.
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