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I want a terminal disease...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Serpent Rays, Jun 28, 2010.

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  1. Serpent Rays

    Serpent Rays New Member

    Does anyone know of any way I can contract a disease that is both untreatable and terminal? The past couple of years of my life have been a downward spiral and I'm ready for it to just stop. It would take hours to explain everything, but I'm a complete failure at life. I hate myself for the mistakes I've made and the fact that I haven't even got the most basic skills necessary to have a happy, normal life. I have no social skills and I destroyed my relationship with the one person in the world who loved me enough to help me compensate for my problems. I'm absolutely certain I will never find anyone like her again.
    I don't want to kill myself because I know that would be devastating to my family, so I just want to die from cancer or some other terminal disease, if it's even possible to contract something like that intentionally.
  2. kote

    kote Account Closed

    i understand what you have been through and how you are feeling.

    a terminal disease is the last thing you need if your life is complicated already.

    i have a chronic disease which isnt serious unless it goes un treated and i also feel suicidal. it would be so easy for me to let the disease take over and spiral out of control. but i dont want to go out that way. being weak and out of control.

    id rather fight these suicidal feelings and beat the depresson and sickness as its beatable. a terminal or a chronic disease makes things so much harder.

    i truely wish i didnt have these problems which i have to wake up to every day. i also wish you well and hope you find the strength to change even the smallest part of your life. ive tried and failed so many times but i can no longer give up. ive seen that the suicidal feelings can come and go as they please. now that is something which can be treated.

    i wish you well my friend and hope things change for the better for you, i know i didnt give you an answer to your question but i believe being suicidal is serious enough to classify it as a terminal sickness.
  3. Serpent Rays

    Serpent Rays New Member

    Depression isn't the cause of my problems, it's the other way around. My mother has a lot of the same issues I do and she should have killed herself a long time ago, but instead she's been a burden on everyone around her and I'm headed in the same direction as her. There is no recovering from this. I either live my life in misery, and making the people around me miserable, or I put a stop to it.
  4. kote

    kote Account Closed

    i feel the same way about my wife and kids. that i burden them and cause them pain everyday.

    but i cant leave them fatherless or husbandless.

    id love for all the pain to stop so easily as i genuinely feel they woul be better off without me. but how would i know. if i caused more pain be going.

    its best for me to stay in bed and be here when needed than anything else.

    i know exactly what you mean and feel when you say burden. my heart goes out to you as it seems so logical not to be here, but really how would we know the pain we would give to those around by not being here.
  5. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    I don't think a terminal illness will give what you desire. It is a slow death, slow enough to make you wish you hadn't wished to acquire a terminal illness in the first place. I think most suicidal people want a quick, pain-free death. That or they don't give a shit if they endure pain.
  6. Kaos General

    Kaos General Well-Known Member

    I have a terminal disease and trust me its not a route you want to go down unless you enjoy lots and lots of pain and sleepless nights
  7. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear about your struggle. I wish you the best in your battle.
  8. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I don't have a terminal disease, but this post said almost exactly what I was going to say anyway. I hope you'll consider coming back and talking to us about what's going on.
  9. Michael Ayin

    Michael Ayin Well-Known Member

    All I know is when I go I want it to be as painless as possible. I've said it before and I'll say it again---I've been through enough pain (of various kinds) already.
  10. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    I am a terminal disease.
  11. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    I know what you mean.
    I think I might actually have colon cancer- so for me that is a good thing since I want to die anyway.
  12. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry your suffering so much. You sound like a good person. Don't lose hope. Please don't ask for sickness. That wouldn't help your family either. Please try praying for help. I have and it has helped me. I know it;s hard to go day to day,but things change and life is nothing if not transient. Find something to help maybe. A pet or plant to help grow. If you can't heal yourself ,try to heal others and you may end up being healed!!!!

    You sound like a great person who has been through a lot. But you are stronger for it I'm sure and somehow better too. None of us knows what is coming. So why not try to believe it will be better!!!!

    Write if you like,

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