There are many times where I wanted to commit suicide, I cannot feel any hope anymore. The pain is unbearable. I'm only fifteen, and here I am, having the same thought again. My parents all blame stuff on me, they never really cared about how I feel. My mother wanted to kill me, but was stopped by my brother, she actually brought in the knife to my room ready to strike, I'm so scared. I just want this pain to go away. The only person I feel comfortable talking to is unavailable right now, and I have never felt so helpless, I just want to end it all, then I don't have to feel the pain anymore. Last night, I had an argument with my mother, it started off quite nice, since I have to do whatever they say, my dad called me to scrub the toilet and I did, but my mum doesn't like the idea, and she scold me for not telling her what my dad had asked me to do. Then she went on accusing the things that I haven't done - stealing, harming her physically. But I know she had done those things, she had beat me on a regular basis, but I was to cowardly to turn to anyone for help. I tried to ignore them, just to exist a bit longer, but I guess it is time when it has to end, I know they wanted it to since they have starved me for the whole day. they haven't allowed me to eat or drink anything for the whole day, the reason I am able to enter this help site is because I have hid my laptop and phone and wallet under my pillow all the time. I have never felt so helpless, so lonely, I felt like the lie has drained out of me, I am no longer living, I am merely just existing, there is nobody who cares about me, there is nobody who love me, there is nobody who are willing to help me.