I want to die. I want it to end. I want some peace. I dont want to struggle and fight for my life. I cut myself more than usual this morning... But its not enough. Never enough. Cant cut deep enough, can't draw enough pain and blood to soothe my inner pain.. I want it to end. Family and friends will get over it eventually. It will hurt at first for them but in the end they will move on and i will become a old memory. A once upon a time, a long time ago tale. Cant feel the cuts anymore, my body is used to the pain. Need to cut harder. Suppose <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> will be a good way. If i can tolerate the pain then it should be easy. I'm home alone till 3 so i have a fair good few hours. Then there are <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods>... but i think i need a fair few more to be safe. Tried meds before never enough and i ended up just puking and loosing conciousness. Need alot more. <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> isnt a good mix right? Maybe i should take it down with some vodka or something else strong. Hmm been a while since i planned my own death. I'm not panicked or sad. I've accepted this is how i am going to die, or at least a high possibility that i will become the own cause of my death.