I want it...

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Passion, Oct 25, 2007.

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  1. Passion

    Passion Well-Known Member

    Things have not been fine recently.
    I smile and pretend everything is good, couldnt have been better.
    Everyone thinks i'm the happiest person they know.
    I've fooled everyone.

    at night my anti-depressants wear off and all I want to do is feel that slice in my skin again....
    I want to see the crimson red against my porcelain white skin...
    why? why does it have to be so addictive?
    why does it have to leave scars?
    It just feels so good to me....

    its been so long...........over 2 years
  2. scared_child

    scared_child Account Closed

    first, i would like to say that Im glad that you have made it two years. Second, I want you to know that I do understand how you feel. The pull to cut is always stronger for me at night. And even though it may seem like you need it, keep in mind that the scars dont go away. and you have to have that for the rest of your life. Think of your family. Think of your friends. Think of the fact that every time you hurt yourself, your hurting them too.

    Wishing you the best, songie
  3. elliebelle

    elliebelle Active Member

    I really hope you can manage not to. Making it two years is a huge accomplishment. I was once told by a therapist that when you have the desire to cut you should get in a bath with the water as hot as you can stand it (but not burning). It releases the endorphins the same way cutting does which stops the craving. I've found it actually works really well. Stay strong.
  4. Ella

    Ella Well-Known Member

    Maybe talk to your psychiatrist, or whoever prescribes you your anti-depressants, to adjust your meds? Take half your dose in the morning and half at night maybe. It might help if you feel like it has something to do with your meds wearing off.

    Take care!
  5. Passion

    Passion Well-Known Member

    I wish this wasnt so hard to deal with..
    my friend thinks I should go to bed earlier and that will help, but i cant.
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