I want my painful life to just end

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Uri234, Jun 23, 2013.

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  1. Uri234

    Uri234 Active Member

    I didn't ask to be born into this cruel and miserable world. And I didn't ask to suffer like this. Why do I have to suffer this cruel torment? What have I done to deserve this?

    This world and this society should rot in Hell for all I care for what it did to me.

    I want my miserable life to end but I want a painless way to die and suicide is too painful for me. I'm too afraid of a painful way to die.

    But I just want to my life to just end already because:

    1. I have no money to pay the bills. And now my air conditioner doesn't work and without air conditioner I have to sleep in a very hot room. I live in central Israel and it is very hot where I live. And without air conditioner to keep me cool I would likely get seriously sick from hyperthermia, fever, heat exhaustion or even heat stroke.

    2. I have no food to eat and I'm already in starvation mode.

    3. I cannot get a job now because of criminal record (theft of services to be precise) and without a job I will soon become homeless, probably dying in the street with no food, no protection from the scorching summer heat and no security and roof over my head and a soft bead to sleep on.

    My life is completely collapsing now and I would soon be homeless with no opportunity to get a job and to improve my life.

    My life has become a nightmare and I'm better of dead already but I just want a painless way to die.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 23, 2013
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hi, Uri234. I'm sorry things are so hard for you atm.

    I have no idea how the social system works in Israel, so I don't know what to say about food, shelter and finding a job when you've had legal problems. In some countries, there are agencies that help people with a record find work. Oftentimes, if it is possible for the person, the best alternative is to create their own business (product/service).

    Also, are there shelters or groups that take in or provide food for people in dire straits? If there are, that might be the answer until you can find a job.

    On a more positive note, I have a practical suggestion about keeping cool - although it's temporary. If you have a cloth, a piece of clothing, a towel - soak it in water and wrap it loosely over your shoulders and neck when you are going to sleep. It helps a bit. I live in a country where temperatures can feel like over 40°C on a hot summer day, and the wet cloth thing has worked for me when the air conditioning broke down.

    Maybe others will have some job ideas or tips for you. I hope things pick up soon. Keep posting and let us know how things are going.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Shalom Uri and welcome...as Acy said, I do not know the social services in Israel either, but I do know many ppl here who were from Israel who are in health care...I would gladly ask them about services in your country if you would like...is there any way to get emergency social services or vocational guidance to re-enter the workforce with a record? Please keep posting and let me know how I can help
  4. AcrossTheUniverse

    AcrossTheUniverse New Member

    Sorry to hear you are struggling Uri...sometimes I struggle with feeling I am being punished unjustly as well. I think it's natural to feel anger when you've had a really hard time in life. I know I do at times. I know a few Israelis and they are wonderful people. Hope things improve for you.
  5. ub3

    ub3 Banned Member

    Wow your situation seems very difficult and i am so sorry you feel so hopeless. i ust to take drugs and drink to escape my intolerable life but it just made my situation even worse. In the end i was drinking and drugging because of the problems that drinking and drugging had caused in the 1st place. One ugly vicious cycle. In the end i had to seek help from recovery 12 step meetings AA and NA... because like you i didnt have the courage to end it but desperatly wanted to die. So i sought help and the more i sought help the more i got its strange how it can work out. Just a thought but reading your post reminded me of Kubutz and moshav when i was living in Isreale and how being part of a working community with people from all over the world was helpfull for a lonley soul like me is there any chance of you connecting with any of my suggestions? I hope things begin to improve for you. Someone once said to me IF YOU TAKE ONE STEP TOWARDS THE SOLUTION...THE SOLUTION WILL TAKE 3 TOWARDS YOU....and i found that to be so true especially in times of hopelessness....PEACE AND LIGHT
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