I want peace.

I feel like the ugliest person on the planet. Useless to anybody, ignored by everybody. I feel sad like this every know and then, maybe once a year. But this is the worse it has ever been. My girlfriend left me and that set me off this time. I love her so much, I miss her so much, to be honest im sick of thinking about her but I cant stop. She completely ignores me, like I don't exist or never meant anything to her. I hate having to go to work and pretend im okay, I will come home and it feels like I used up all my happiness at work. I just want to stop having these feelings of emptiness. I want to stop wasting the day thinking about her, waiting for her to text or maybe call and crying when it never does. I can't keep it all in anymore. I don't even feel like crying anymore. I just sit here on my computer chair or in my bed all day, wasting away. I just want to stop feeling this way, it is to much for me to handle.

We didn't have a messed up relationship, we were quite happy together. Atleast I thought so. I never met somebody so beautiful, so nice, and I never felt so cared for in my life from anybody. I feel like no one will ever be able to replace that feeling she was able to give me. It makes me sick to think about it now, I had everything I wanted and life didnt seem so bad after all. I just want to stop thinking about her. It wont stop. I've been through plenty of breakups and it usually feels better as time goes on, this time every day seems worse than the last and I dont know how much longer I can take it. I am ready to give up. Im afraid to wake up in the morning, I wish I would just die in my sleep. Its truly a disappointment to wake up and find myself alive.

 

Hi dunkin...welcome and so glad you found us...your breakup is so new that is it no wonder you have these feelings...I am sure you are not the ugliest nor useless person...you are in pain...maybe it is time for you to speak to someone about what is going on...PTSD is a common outcome from events such as this...please know there are many ppl who relate to what you have written...welcome again and let us know how you are doing...J

 

Welcome to SF..

You have just got hurted deeply, and it will make you feel like the end of the day.. You are not useless or ugly.. You need something to build up your self-esteem again.. Give yourself some time and talk to someone about it.. Private message me or anyone in the forum if you need a listening ear.. :hug:

 

Been there, and still wearing the t shirt.
I've got to the point where I no longer want this person in my life......you will get there I promise; but am now stuck with the missing 'what we were', given time I know this too will pass.
You, however, are at the raw part of mourning and what got me thru was (funnily enough) the people I met on this site.
I must have driven them mad going over and over it, but honestly, that's what helped the grieving and you are grieving; as much as you would have had she died.
If you ever need a chat feel free to pm me. :hug: