i want somethign real now

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by liam, Nov 6, 2009.

  1. liam

    liam Member

    I want to give up now. I just want to lock myself in and lie on the couch all day sleeping and crying. I don't want to keep fighting anymore. I want ot permitt myself to be absorbed by sorrow again because that's where i belong and no matter how much i try to get back on track again and keep the light up think about other stuff and go through every day life, it will never be as good as experiencing honest feelings. i don't want to pretend anymore. i want everybody to leave me alone.

    i want ot cry cry cry 'til i get back a world that feels real
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I know how you feel.
    Although I love crying. It feels so good... and REAL. Maybe you can find some medium. You don't have to go through every day expressing fake emotions trying to keep the light on. But it's not healthy to lock yourself in either. Go out and do what you do but don't be afraid to come home and cry for as long as you need.

    Either way, is there something in particular that's upsetting you? Or just depression and sorrow by themselves?
  3. liam

    liam Member

    but I can't figure out any ways to be social and real at the same time
    i can't just show how i feel in public that wouldn't work at all
    and it makes it hard for me to recreate a proper appearance
    it takes so much energy to fake it and i don't have that energy anymore and this all just seems pointles because people don't seem to like me even if i try real hard to be "nice". or whatever makes people like you

    there's not any clear reasons to my depression that's what makes it so hard. if i could just point out what's wrong maybethat would make it easier to "cure". but now there isn't or i don't know.
  4. bubblin girl

    bubblin girl Well-Known Member

    Im thinking the same ever single day...you are not alone dear...many people here want to give up & cry....

    dear...dont fake alot its not good...and please if you want to cry...go ahead...it will releve you...you will feel better after it....

    ill tell you suggesting...when you feel like you want give or cry & fake alot...go to nearest place and be alone...even bathroom/rest room in puplic place...and cry as you want...swear as you want...feel pathatic about yourself as you want...shout/scream as you want...give up & crash on the floor as you want.....but for limited time like 5 or 10 min that you set before you start...then go back to your life...so by that...you feel free & relieve with no fake to others but in the same time you dont fall in depression and feel exhasted or want to give up...