I want the pain to end......

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by plzmakethesefeelingsstop, Mar 16, 2015.

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  1. ......but I don't want to hurt the ones I leave behind. I believe there is truly only so much one person can handle before they break. I'm there... here, wherever that might be. A crossroads, if you will. I don't think I'm meant to exist in this life. People who know just bits and pieces of my story say, "You should write a book." The truth really is stranger than fiction. Although I'm sure it would make for a very interesting, yet, at times quite disturbing read. I don't foresee that happening. Every day that I continue to exist is filled with pain, anger, sadness and severe anguish. I'm lost and alone in this world.
  2. IJ (it just is)

    IJ (it just is) Well-Known Member

    dont feel alone, what you just spelt out here is the same way i feel. i too am at that breaking point, no one seems to understand and those that see i am in pain and barely hanging on keep telling me to keep holding on. screw that, i cant keep feeling like this, i cant keep pretending i give a damn. its not easy and i dont have any words to share with you to make you feel better cause if i had those words i would feel better myself... but just know there are people in the same boat as you.
  3. Everyone (which consists of only a few people I still can manage to converse with, that is... or because they haven't given up on me or written me off completely) tells me, "It will get better, don't give up" They have no idea what I/we have been through. What gives them the right to push there optimistic views on us?

    Maybe there is a silver lining in every cloud they come across.... not for me tho! Every thing I have, every thing I've done, lands me right back where I began..... holding the short end of the stick. It's not just the psychological and emotional pain. It's physically debilitating to try to act or appear like I'm not going to have a psychotic break at any given moment. They have NO idea! I'm holding on for dear life every second of every day and it's EXHAUSTING!
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 16, 2015
  4. tacoper8er

    tacoper8er Member

    I don't know what to tell you other than the only reason I haven't killed myself yet is because it would destroy my kids if I did. So I keep breathing hoping for a break. Maybe I'll get one, maybe I won't....idk. I hope you are able to find something that helps you. Even if its just pouring your heart out here.
  5. IJ (it just is)

    IJ (it just is) Well-Known Member

    its exhausting trying to keep up appearances, I know, but unfortunately its something we need to do to get through the days. i do that just to keep people from "pep-talking" to me, like be happy - there are people worse off than you - just dont give - and, and, and. All that is BS. We dont need pep-talks to get us through this, we need people that are willing to listen, not judge and just care. i am so on your page.
  6. munkey82

    munkey82 Member

    Totally agreed. Everyone thinks I'm great at the moment because that's what I want them to think. I'm too tired to deal with them giving me wonderful advice I really should follow...
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