The reason I am on this forum is that I have been banned from the Chat. I found another chat that was very open and accepting, a site that accepted the right of people to choose death over life, but for some reason it was closed down a few days after I told people on this site about it. Probably just a coincidence. My reasons for wanting to self-liberate are simple. I am bored, disgusted and worn out with life and by life. All I want is the peace of death. I have lived decades with my obsessive-compulsive disorder and with my endless anxiety. Do you remember Prometheus in the Greek legend who was tied to a rock and had a vulture eating out his liver for all eternity? That is how I feel. Anxiety and fear will never leave me alone. They will eat out my guts until I close my eyes in death. On the outside, my life seems fine. I have a good lifestyle, and all I need. But all I am doing is a very convincing imitation of a sane person. That is how I keep ourt of the skull ranch. I keep it to myself and I don't tell anyone that every waking moment is spent with my guts twisted in a knot by anxiety. I buy a luxury car and I spend the next year worrying that something is wrong with it. I go on a fabulous vacation and I don't enjoy a moment of it because everything has me worried. I feel anxiety from the moment I wake up to the moment I take a pill to get to sleep. PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME TO SEE A PSYCHIATRIST OR TO SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP! I have been seeing professionals for more than 50 years now. Look, there are some cancers or other diseases that can't be cured, right? Is it soooo unbelievable that there are some mental illnesses that psychiatrists can't cure? There are over 6 billion people on this overcrowded planet and one of them wants off, because his mind is defective and incapable of happiness. Is that so much to want? The peace of death?