I want to be a girl

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Asmoday, Jan 24, 2010.

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  1. Asmoday

    Asmoday Active Member

    I haven't told anyone about this before and I can't tell anyone I know in real life. But I have to tell someone so I'm gonna write it here.

    First of all I'm not a female in a male body. I wasn't always like this. I used to like being a guy. But as time progressed(I'm 27 now) I started craving to be a girl. Whenever I see a beautiful girl, I feel a bit jealous because she's pretty and enjoying her femininity while I'm stuck with fantasizing about being a girl.

    It's not just about sex. I'm bisexual and I would still be bisexual if I was in a female body. But it's about who I am or who I want to be. And I don't think I can ever be happy being a male no matter what I do or achieve in life because the most important thing will never be there.

    Instead of meeting with my friends and enjoying myself, I fantasize about meeting with my friends but only in a female body. Yes I know it's pathetic.

    I just thought telling a few strangers here(who won't make fun unlike people in other forums) is better than not telling anyone. Thanks for reading :)
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I am a male and used to think about going out into the world as a woman. Not necessarily getting a sex change but dressing as a woman and everything.

    It's not pathetic, that's for sure. Do you think you will actually go about getting a sex change?
    Do what makes you happy :hug: :heart:
  3. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    i think its normal to feel like that.
  4. bono

    bono Well-Known Member

    One for vote for this being completely normal. I am straight man, I day dream almost day long about all sorts of different things. Some of my favorite fantasy are about being a beautiful. Always a lesbian in them. Tried to image have sex with a man in them, but penises are gross. I would guess your fantasy, I like mine, are more about attention. Feeling that it would be easier to get what you want like attention, approva from others, validation, and sex if you were a beautiful woman. If you feel the need to feel loved and cherished ask your friends and family to give you compliments or tell you what they like about you.
  5. Asmoday

    Asmoday Active Member

    Bono I think you're right but I can't get the kind of attention I want in a male body. I mean I get compliments for other things but I don't care about them. All I can think about is being a girl. It's not a small fantasy that I think about from time to time. It has come to a point where I don't want to have any social interaction with anyone because I'm not a girl.

    However I'm not thinking about sex change because not only it would take lots of work, I would also end up with a body which is much more different than what I have in my fantasies.
  6. molotov

    molotov Well-Known Member

    Hi Asmoday,

    First of all, cheers for having the courage to write about it, I'm glad you decided not to just sit with these thoughts by yourself anymore.

    I dunno if we have any trans people on here? If so, speak up, y'all! Anyway.. you've seen from the comments here that you're not the only guy to experience something like this - and from the other side, though I've never seriously considered myself TG, I've sometimes gone to great lengths to kinda sorta accidentally get mistaken for a guy as often as possible, so I can relate that far. If this is causing you such pain that you don't want to be around other people, though, you should probably be looking for some kind of support.. maybe some kind of counseling or support group at your local LGBT center or something?

    Do you think your friends would be supportive of your expressing your gender identity differently? People's mileage varies a lot on that one so I ask..

    Maybe check out Gender Trouble by Judith Butler, if you haven't - it's got some great arguments for the idea that gender identity is what you make of it :)

    Take it easy, keep posting.
  7. Mortal Moon

    Mortal Moon Well-Known Member

    I've fantasized about being female for years now, off and on. It's not that I think it would be "better", necessarily- but I find the idea fascinating.

    I don't think it's weird or pathetic to feel that way at all, Asmoday.

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    well, thats something i can honestly say i havnt dreamed or wanted to do. however, there are ways to acclomplish that.
  9. bono

    bono Well-Known Member

    What you think you want and what you actually need can be 2 very different. You want to be loved/cherished/desired. Right now you stuck fantasizing about how nice it would have been if you so physically desirable enough. That you could fill the need instanly by walking out of the house and being desired + admirered by all and still keep you independence.

    Unfortunetly that isn't an option. The best way to fill that need is though bf/gf in the in the context of a loving long term relationship. Negatives are that you have to put yourself out there, dating can in neverracking, frustrating and energy draining. Finding a bf that is at the point in his life that he wants to put you on a pedestial will be tricky. Not to mention that the fantasy lets you keep your independance. Not having resposiblities, not feeling tied down, like you have limitless potential to do/be anyone. That is BS is that single use to rationalize/justify that there important (someone to loved/admired). Nothing is better than that loving you get when you hold/are held as you nod off to sleep. Damn it, now i am horny. Spankwire here I cum.
  10. PoisonS

    PoisonS Well-Known Member

    I'm a girl, it's not as great as you might think. You have to worry about bras and tampons.

    And then gaining weight. Keeping a healthy weight is so much harder for women because their bodies store AT ALL TIMES the nutrition needed to take care of your body and a baby for nine months.

    And then there's the upkeep.

    Hair, nails, eyes, lips, skin, you have no idea how tiring it is.

    No, being a pretty female is not as great as you would think.

    Bras pinch and heels hurt your feet, and bleeding for five days once a month is no vacation. PMS is the worst thing in the world. Except for the cramps.
    Be thankful.
  11. sammakko

    sammakko Banned Member

    I can give my monthlies for you, especially my pains, I cannot even walk to the kitchen to get my painkillers :smile:

    And before you can feel you really are girl you have to know couple of things.

    1. Men's ancle you are not woman before you have get sex. That also mean, you are a Wh*re since you lost your virginity.

    2. Women's ancle you are not woman before you are get having a baby.

    Untill that you are just a freak. (that is what is taught for me as a girl).

    You are very welcome to become girls world, it is certainly worth it :sad:
  12. brueyh1976

    brueyh1976 Well-Known Member

    First off you're not pathetic, have you tried exploring these feelings and seeing where they take you? I myself am transgender. My family and friends all know about me and don't judge for who I am. If you want to talk, you can PM me any time.
  13. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    I think if becoming/expressing yourself as a girl is what would make you happy then you should go for it. Though how do you know that once you become a girl (if you would indeed go for the full gender change) that you would feel satisfied with yourself? Have you tried just cross-dressing? Going out as a male dressed up & pretending to be a woman? Maybe if you haven't, it's worth giving it a go and getting your friends to join in, making it seem like some kind of fun lads night out. That way you get to experience a bit of what it's like to be in a girls shoes and if it's what really makes you happy.

    I can relate a little bit to how you feel. When I was younger I always wanted to be a boy. I dressed like a boy, acted like a boy, I hung out with boys and often preferred pretending to be the boy in any role-playing games or such, the only thing was, I was never attracted to girls. As time went on though, I just grew out of it and I got over my desire to be a boy. Having said that though, it wasn't a very strong desire in the first place.

    I will agree with what two people have previously said, here though. Being a girl isn't all it's cracked up to be. There is so much pressure to look good, stay thin and healthy, wear attractive clothes, be confident, stay hygienic, have big breasts, even. That's not even beginning about the monthly thing. I don't know how badly it effects other girls, but there have been times when the pain has been so bad I have literally wanted to kill myself after thinking that this is the kind of pain I have to go through every month for the next thirty or so years of my life. But then again that might just be me, as I don't take pain too easily.
  14. PoisonS

    PoisonS Well-Known Member

    Oh trust me, I can take pain pretty well and the pain I get once a month gets so bad sometimes I just want to die.
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