I want to be done

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Firespirit3, Feb 2, 2013.

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  1. Firespirit3

    Firespirit3 Member

    I'm getting tired of living without happiness. Even things that once made me happy don't, they just make it worse. I want to be done. I don't want to talk to some stranger that I have no reason to trust. What's to say that will make it better? If I can't find a place among people who claim to care about me, is there a chance that I will later? I feel alone and anonymous in every aspect of my life. When I try to trust someone it ends up badly. I am just sick of living this half life. I wake up and feel like it is pointless to keep trying. Sometimes I feel like I am fighting a losing battle, the whole "tomorrow is a new day" line is a taunt. Because tomorrow isn't going to be any different. My life is too routine and I'm afraid that if I change the routine I'll fall apart, but the routine isn't helping me anymore. I'm tired of fighting what seems to be inevitable
     
  2. scarlettdrknss

    scarlettdrknss Well-Known Member

    Hey, to me it sounds like you should change your routine. I mean, you seem like you're falling apart already. You shoud try out something new. It doesn't have to be much. It could be a new sport, a new hobby. Yeah, it's hard to take a risk for something you barely have any hope for, but it can help.

    You never know what will happen in the future. If you reach out more, you'll find more, maybe by joining a club of some sort you will find someone worth trusting. You will never know if you don't try though.

    I wish you all the best ~
     
  3. ScarsRunDeep

    ScarsRunDeep New Member

    I understand how you feel and I'm sorry that you feel this way. I'm sure you get tierd of hearing the same old lines over and over again. I get tierd of it too. "Things will get better".."Tomorrow's another day".. blah blah blah.. I get it. You don't know me, but I would like to get to know you better, so I can understand whats going on with you better. You don't have to feel alone, I would be more than happy to be a friend you can count on to tell you the honest truth. Tomorrow will always be the same if you are doing the same things everyday. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. You have to think of what you really want in life, write them all down, then make a plan on how you're going to get the things you want and deserve. Unfortunatly, life is not easy, it will NEVER be easy, but if you live it right it will be worth it. You CAN be happy, I know you're probably sick of hearing that too, but it is 100% true. You have to start being nice to yourself, start believing in yourself a little and things will begin to get better. If you feel like you would like to talk more so I can understand your situation a little better, I would really love to hear from you. If not, that's okay too, I just hope you can find some happiness in your life. Everyone deserves to be happy, hang in there.
     
  4. Slange

    Slange Member

    Hi Firespirit3,

    Yes, that 'tomorrow is another day' is the biggest BS going. Tomorrow is the same day, just a different date on a calendar. You say your routine is doing nothing for you yet you are afraid to change it. Why are you afraid you'd fall apart if you changed our routine? it seems so obvious to me that that's exactly what you need - a change in your routine. It doesn't have to be a big change for starters. Can you tell us more about why you are afraid to change? Why don't you make a small change, one that reaches out beyond your routine right now, and see how it feels? It willl probably feel good. If not, maybe it was not the right kind of change. Reach out to others, not only will you feel less alone, they will too. Don't think you're the only one suffering, even within your own community. Can you use your pain to help others?
     
  5. Firespirit3

    Firespirit3 Member

    I don't know if I can. I wish I could. Everyday I just want my experiences to help someone else, but I wouldnt know where to start. I know I should get help but I don't feel comfortable talking to someone I don't know about this. Even with my family I feel like they don't know how much pain I go through. Sometimes they will make negative comments about suicide and self harm and I take it as a personal attack. So I can't open up to them either. I just feel alone and ready to give up hope.
     
  6. Slange

    Slange Member

    You can. Trust me, you can. And you need to. Don't try talking to your family. Doesn't sound like they are understanding or supportive. I'd never talk to my family. They be supportive to a point but they are gossips and I'd have no confidentiality. Famiily is overrated unless ou happen to have a food one. But I have started taking to a therapist and although I don't think it's going to help at least I have someone to confide in. Make a small change and see how good it makes ou feel. Can your experiences help someone else? Absolutely they can! Don't think your the only one.
     
  7. Firespirit3

    Firespirit3 Member

    Well I'm still in high school so I can't make the choice to talk to a therapist without confiding in my family. I can't use my experiences to really help anything because anything I would say would just go straight back to my family. And as for changing my routine that's also kinda difficult. It was a change in my routine that really brought all of this forward. I wouldn't know what to change, I have no clue what my real problems are....
     
  8. suiprev

    suiprev Member

    Hi At one point all your friends were strangers. Right? Okay, you can consider me a strangers, but I am kinda worried about you. Why? Well, when did your unhappiness start? It sounds like you are in a rut. Agree? ttyl
    Kevin
     
  9. Firespirit3

    Firespirit3 Member

    I don't really ever remember being happy. Well maybe for a little bit I was but when my boyfriend broke up with me for being too shy it really got bad...
     
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