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I WANT to be thin.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Allo.., Mar 31, 2010.

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  1. Allo..

    Allo.. Well-Known Member

    and by thin I mean really thin.
    not anorexic, but I want my bones to stick out.
    I want it to all be muscle. only muscle.
    I despise fat. not on others, only me.
    but I do not have the self control to achieve this.

    I'm not 'fat'. I know that, I'm on the boarder of 'normal' and 'overweight' on your average BMI chart. but I want to be so, so skinny.

    I blame ballet personally, I take ballet classes and I know I'll never be particularly good, but I would feel so much better about myself if I were skinny.

    I would like people to be able to say that I am thin, not average, not 'biggish'. I want thin, or very thin.

    If I had the self control I would most likely have achieved this a long time ago, also if I could physically throw up on command, which I've tried and failed to do many times.

    I can't really be bothered writing anymore now. Basically I want to be an exercise nut who only eats really healthy things all the time, and rarely. I want to be seen as thin, and I want to feel thin. I want to feel more than comfortable in myself.

    I admire those with eating disorders. Those who I don't know, of course. I couldn't stand it when my best friend went through it, but I wish I had that self control. I wish it were me.

    help :(
  2. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I wish I could say something to help, because I know how it feels to desperately want to be thin. I purged today - although I didn't binge. But I can't do that all of the time.
    I know deep down it's not healthy and will ultimately only make my life worse if I don't do this healthily. Exercising and eating healthily really is the onl way, as you said.
  3. jenniferelaine

    jenniferelaine Well-Known Member

    I'm not skinny (truly, I'm not. Years of being skinny has destroyed my metabolism and has placed me in the "normal" weight range. And not on the skinny side of it.)

    You can stand en pointe, and have muscle tone. I'm jealous of that.
  4. gomi

    gomi Active Member

    Highly recommend checking this site: www.bodybuilding.com

    Check the supersite, has lot of great information.
  5. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    I know you said you admire those with ED's b/c of their self control but actually we are "out of control" as a anorexic, out "control" is out of control.

    It's not a life worth living....it's not a switch you can use when you want to lose wieght and then go back to normal thinking....once you are in that cycle, it's too late. In fact, the way you are thinking right now, is on that path.

    I thought I would be happy at 100 lbs.....then 95.....93.....85....81...76......still not happy.

    There's not a day that goes by where I don't think/fantasize about food. Counting calories in my head over and over and over and over....exercised twice outside in the windy gusty freezing air cuz I felt I had to....drove 50 miles last nite to sit alone to eat 1 bite of a salad cuz I felt uncomfortable in my own area. Spent all nite thinking that I ate too much....couldn't sleep.....and cycle never ends.

    IF you say you want to be skiiny with bones but NOT anorexic, that is twisted thinking.....I'm sorry but even if you ar not at a low weight, you are just as sick as me and the rest of us.
  6. FluffySoup

    FluffySoup Account Closed

    Trust me, you do not want to see your bones sticking out.. I'm the total opposite and I WANT to gain weight since i'm a stick but I eat to little and get full easily.
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