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I want to but I can't

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by winduptoy, Nov 21, 2012.

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  1. winduptoy

    winduptoy Active Member

    I just want to end it now and be done with it. But I can't because my mom's out right now picking up thanksgiving dinner (such a bullshit "holiday" that we'd be better off without but what can you do?) and I can't have her come home to that. So I'm forced to go on living for at least a few more days and I can't fucking do that either, because I hate it, and I just want to be dead. I've tried to talk to friends about it. Nobody will. I've tried calling my doctor. It's been days, no reply. No one cares.
  2. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    sorry you're feeling this way - holidays aren't my friend either

    friends don't always understand or know how to react when we try to talk to them

    trying to call your doctor was a good idea and it just seems wrong that you haven't gotten at least a call back - have you tried a help line?

    keep talking here - lots of folks who listen

    you can PM me if you want also, but it may take a bit before i can get back to you
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    If your doctor is not responsive, can you do to an ER or such and get the care you need? It is criminal that s/he has not gotten back to you...try calling again and make it very clear how badly you need a response...it is terrific that you are trying to get care...keep at it and tell your mom how you are feeling and that you need help
  4. winduptoy

    winduptoy Active Member

    She did finally call back - it always takes a few days I guess she's pretty busy. She wants to change my medication again. I guess I haven't got anything to lose by trying it, since I have to at least tough it out through the holidays for my mom. I don't think being hospitalized would help and again it would be abandoning my mother. I'd rather give her a good and normal holiday, then do what I have to do. My mom is not young and won't have to live long without me if she really does miss me that much. And if she doesn't then she can enjoy the rest of her life without being weighed down. It just really sucks to feel this way and know you have at least another month or so to go.
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