I just want to end it now and be done with it. But I can't because my mom's out right now picking up thanksgiving dinner (such a bullshit "holiday" that we'd be better off without but what can you do?) and I can't have her come home to that. So I'm forced to go on living for at least a few more days and I can't fucking do that either, because I hate it, and I just want to be dead. I've tried to talk to friends about it. Nobody will. I've tried calling my doctor. It's been days, no reply. No one cares.