I want to commit suicide and it's not a depression-based decision.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by AbsoluteRelativity, Apr 20, 2013.

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  1. I know genetically we are designed to run from death and to have the "wish" to live, no matter what. But I've been thinking in terminating my life for a very long time because I think all this is just not worth it.

    I sure have a lot of motives to be depressed but my wish for death it's motivated by the knowing that I just don't want to live anymore, even when I accomplish something and I'm happy I know I don't want to live.

    Does anybody experience this as I do?
  2. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I have not experienced this. But I want to welcome you to this community. I think its a very good place. I am glad you are here.

    Here is my belief, for what its worth. Sometimes there are reasons for pervasive thoughts that are not understood by our limited human understanding. But I do think that each person who is born has done so for an important reason. Even if we cannot see it. Even if they have a constant feeling or thought ( also during happy times) that they do not want to live. Personally, I think its important to stay alive. No matter what the feeling otherwise. So while I have not had the exact feeling you are talking about, I thought I would write a response.
  3. Anonymousnobody

    Anonymousnobody Well-Known Member

    I feel the same way. Even when I'm happy, or things are going okay, I still have a constant deathwish
  4. PJLane

    PJLane Well-Known Member

    I often feel suicidal think about ending my life, even while my depression isn't at its worst. I personally dont think the two are always linked. I bought a lotto ticket the other day and was thinking about, and thought that even if i won i wouldnt want to be alive.
  5. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I completely agree. For me it sometimes is circumstances and not that depression has increased.
  6. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    One of the difficulties with depression is that it clouds one's judgement. Those of us who have suffered from depression are more vulnerable than some to adverse circumstances.
  7. exkend

    exkend Well-Known Member

    Most people tend to presume that "depression" or other "mental illness ( schizophrenia/bipolar being the most common)" is the root cause behind a person choosing suicide. However what they tend to overlook is the quality of the life the person has. Meaninglessness, purposelessness and isolation are the three main reasons why people genrally want to end it. So if anything it's predicatable and rational if a person endures too much pain to want to end their own life. Just to be clear I am not condoning in anyway someone to harm themselves, what I am saying is, it is often rational to want to ends one life when overwhelmed with the pain of any of the above.
    What upsets me is when friends/family see a person suffering and choose to ignore it at the cost of that persons life and then claim " emotional involuntarism", which in my opinion is a form of collusion, to avoid taking any responsibility as they often did throughout that persons life. Our families, communities and goverments do this all the time, they put all the onus on our shoulders when the roof caves in, and are "kind" enough to label us as pathological.
    Happy days.
  8. Oh, something happened and I felt so bad.. I logged in and reading all this responses to my thread felt very nice. Thanks guys, but I still feel the same way, even more now. It's a downward spiral, i think I'm getting closer to the bottom.
  9. I apretiate the welcome by the way, almost feels like someone cares.
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