I want to commit suicide

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Autumn01, Aug 20, 2010.

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  1. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    I want to commit suicide so badly.
    I just want to die. I'm such a loser, worthless and useless.

    My mom is such a bitch.
  2. Charlie Milles

    Charlie Milles Well-Known Member

    Who says you're a loser? Just wondering.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    No you are not a loser you are just as important as anyone else i am sorry you are so sad glad you vented here though let the pain out some
  4. bsbsegal

    bsbsegal New Member

    You are most definitely not worthless or useless.

    It takes something to reach out to us out here.

    Give it some time. These feelings will change. Reach out again, if you need it.

    There are people here that are willing to listen, to vent.
  5. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    Charlie Milles- No one that I personally know has called me a loser (atleast not to my face) other than myself but I'm sure my mom thinks it as well as tons of others.

    ~violet~- Thanks, I just don't think so.

    bsbsegal- Thanks.
  6. clairedelune

    clairedelune Well-Known Member

    Don't speak like that. Most of us here have suffered the way you did. And it's never too late to become better. Though I'm saying this, I don't even think I'm good today. But, don't give up. There's always room for hope.
  7. Mama Drama!!!

    My momma raised five kids and all of them suffer from depression as a direct result of the emotional abuse my mom inflicts on anyone and everyone around her... and the littlest one's seven. (the second littlest is sixteen).

    There is Nothing worse than watching a little three year old with a wicked grin and a mischevious little spark in his eye lose both those before he turns seven. There is no hatred greater in the world than the hate I have for my mom. She loves to control other peoples lives with absolutely no regard to their well-being...

    ...they say that depression is anger turned inward... I don't know if you have to push through that problem or go around it, but I probably wouldn't be here if I didn't have the pure hate for anyone and everyone like my mom pushing me to be less of a worthless bitch. And there's the fact that you become your parents. Thanks to my hate I have taught myself mannerisms that aren't easy for her, and avoided becoming her.

    I say all this hoping for a response. Don't leave me out here waving my dirty momma laundry. But I remember when that hate was all that kept me alive, and I wanted to encourage it in someone else. Because it really can help. (I'm not saying that's all it does, but it can).

    There's no time to discriminate Hate Anyone who's standing in your way.
  8. I didn't want to alter my above post, because I meant it. But I was reading some stuff from recovery-inc.com, and I think it's useful here.

    "You would imagine that that patient who has lost peace and wants to restore it again would employ peaceful means in order to restore peace, because you can't restore peace with fighting, with power, certainly not inner peace. But the patient is a fighter. This means the patient develops temper, and through temper he strives to cure himself or to avert certain unpleasant consequences. He fights and exercises his power, so he can't find peace. And the patient's purpose, particularly, should be directed towards restoring peace. Otherwise, he can't get well. And I have to train the patient and teach him how to restore peace to his organism." (MFMA, p. 111)

    "I have fortunately trained my patients to have respect for intellect and therefore not to think that they are intellectuals. They are average people. Their intellect has not been thoroughly trained as, let me say, as a great scientist's intellect.Let them talk about average trivialities. And whoever wants to talk of something else-of stirring events in politics, in art, in literature--let them listen to other panels. Maybe they are held. I don't know. But don't let them listen to my patients. My patients are obliged by me to speak of nothing but trivialities, that means of life as it pulsates, as it lives, as it is close, and not of artificial issues like politics, economy, and other things that are artificial in the mouth of somebody who has no special knowledge in these fields." (MFMA, p. 141)

    ...you should go to the site I mentioned and subscribe to the newsletter. You get different advice everyday, and they start out with small common sense ideas that aren't easy for depressed people to think of on their own... I have no special knowledge in the way the depressed mind works... but that guy sure does. He'll make you feel like a stranger has the ability to understand you.

    Feel better.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 25, 2010
  9. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    You can't keep telling yourself these awful things Autumn, because they are not true. You are not a loser, not worthless or useless. I'm sure that you have many great qualities to share with the world. You're just going through a difficult time in your life and struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts. Don't give up. :hug:
  10. Chanel1337

    Chanel1337 Member

    You're not worthless and you're not a loser. You don't know what others are thinking, they might think you're a wonderful person. And if not, who the hell cares what they think, right? I go through periods of what you're going through; you just have to realise that it doesn't matter what other people think of you.

    Please feel better, you will get through this. You are never alone.
  11. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    Thanks Dave and Chanel.

    I just don't even care anymore.
    I actually haven't flossed in a few weeks.
    I keep going to bed at night without brushing and flossing my teeth.
    Life is miserable. There's nothing for me to continue on for. I just want something to happen to me so I can just go to sleep and then never wake up again- then I wouldn't have to end my own life myself.
  12. satsukisan

    satsukisan Member

    Ideally what or where would you like to be in a year? Tell me :reub:
  13. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Autumn. You should start brushing and flossing your teeth again, so that you won't get any cavities or gum disease. I realize that being suicidal, brushing and flossing are not really a priority, but it's definitely a start. :turtle:
  14. hardlife-

    hardlife- New Member

    This is my first post on here and i hope it helps,

    I had the same feeling not long ago, and tbh i was in the same situation bur with my dad, and i was really at rock bottom. There was no i could talk to and i didn't think about looking on here, but there are some great people on here and you really should listen.

    After a few weeks of feeling like you things took a turn for the better, i met a girl whose made me so happy, and i really thoguht there was no chance, ive started to go out more and ive met new people who helped me forget the troubles at home. you really should hang in there, you never know what might happen or what could turn up...

    please listen to the people on here, they're really trying to help you and there so right,no matter what you think:)
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