I want to cut but I am trying not 2!!!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GoldenPsych, Feb 7, 2008.

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  1. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Not been sleeping these past few nights and has left me drained. As I am so tired I am getting anxious and I really want to cut. If you read my posts you will see I tried to give advice to someone else about it.. .well I have tried all those and is not working tonight so I am trying to write on here to keep my mind off it and so I have something to do with my hands.

    I need a release tonight. All I can think of is the azors in the bathroom. I have just had 6 sleeping pills (herbal) in the hope that in an hour I will be asleep. Got pro plus for tomorrow to keep me awake. Maybe if the sleeping tablets kick in I wont want to cut. It is the first time in nearly three weeks that I have felt like this, thought I was getting better but all i can think of is cutting. I suppose in a way it is good that I am not thinking of the pills. I dont think the ones I have in would do anything other than give me upset stomach, I am not a great believer in herbal things so dont think 60 herbal things would do anyharm. If they did they wouldnt sell so many at a time. They wouldnt give me niteol at boots as of antideprassants I am on.

    So all i could get was herbal. I am desperate for sleep. It gets to the stage where I am getting anxiety attacks before I go to bed if I know I have to get up like tomorrow I know i do. Not fun when lying in bed with my heart racing. Tried the slowing breathing thing. If these pills dont work i really dont know what I am going to do. Maybe it is as I haven't cut in a while. Maybe I need that release and that will make me sleep. I will try and give it an hour. If nothing then on to bathroom I go, and Il try taking a few more pills.
     
  2. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Not feeling the slightest bit sleepy so take another 4 and sme wine... maybe that will help me sleep
     
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