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I want to date you to help you...wait what?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Fox in the Woods, Jan 12, 2010.

  1. Fox in the Woods

    Fox in the Woods Active Member

    So...I just broke up with my boyfriend. I thought everything was running smoothly until it just all went pear shaped. We had been dating for 3 weeks before we broke up. I thought it would be ok because we had been friends for 3-4 years before we started dating and had a strong level of trust between each other. He was there to know what my other boyfriends did to me and how they abused my trust my cheating on me and putting me down. And then suddenly he breaks up with me.

    Why? Because he realized that the reason he was going out with me was because he wanted to help me. Help me able to trust someone that is. Dating requires a high level of trust and he thought the best way to make me come out of my shell was to date me. I really don't know what to do or say. I feel like I've been used and abused bu him. And it's strange because I know he finds me sexually attractive because he told me himself. How can I trust him or anyone else again? He says he cares for me...I find that hard to believe. He's coming over this afternoon to try and put things right. I don't know if things can be put right.

    I really don't trust the human race at all right now....
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Seems to me he cares for you a great deal... just not romantically.
  3. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    fucking men. honestly.
    >< AGH! That is so frustrating!
    Sounds exactly like my ex-- and I don't even wanna start up about that! XD
  4. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    I don't really understand the big problem though...

    He realized he was with you for the wrong reasons, and let you go instead of leading you on...
  5. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    No drama. People think break ups have to be like soup operas, all dramatic and one winning over the other. It was only three weeks and he (like Brandon said) ended it cause he realised it was helping you. By the sounds of it, he didnt do it to intentionally hurt you, he was trying to help you (men - dont think like us, he probably thought it was easy to fix and this was the best way to get you to trust). He seems to be making a big effort to make things okay again, just go with the flow. NO DRAMA. :)
  6. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    He should never have started dating you. Stopping dating you was wise. What you described was the perfect setup for a pathological relationship... And when (not if) it went bad you'd no longer have a friend.
  7. Fox in the Woods

    Fox in the Woods Active Member

    The problem is that I don't think he honestly cares about me. We went out the other night and he tried to grab me and kiss me even though we have both come to the agreement that we are not dating. He was just looking to cop a feel.
  8. pither

    pither Well-Known Member

    I'm sure this ordeal has left you feeling like you were bamboozled and tricked and overall the exact opposite result came from this that he was aiming for.

    Let's look at it, he want's you to trust people so you'll come out of your shell because past relationships have left you hurt and so he decides to do this by deceiving you. Yup, a real winner.

    I'm sorry this is happening to you, I know how it feels to be made a fool of fer sure.

    I think that if you still want to keep the friendship, you should set boundaries for him. No touchy feely. Good luck :]
  9. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    wow..what a user...he wants to control the situation and get what he wants...but what about you? you're right, sounds like he doesnt care about you...keep strong and let him know its not okay...