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I want to die and I'm HAPPY about it!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by livingonlight, Jul 17, 2008.

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  1. livingonlight

    livingonlight Active Member

    I sometimes think that I might get cancer because of the things that I have done to my body but I also know that I am not this body. I drank poison twice and I don't think I will do it again but I am searching for another method. I love to think about the release that death brings but I'm afraid to do anything now. I will be getting my own apartment soon and then I will plan what to do.

    I want kill my body when things are good. I don't know that it will be very soon. I might do it in a few years but I do know that my exit will be controlled by me. There's nothing wrong with thinking about death. It is a natural choice to suffering and I don't believe in the christian delusion about hell. Its total bullshit to believe in what a whole bunch of gay child molesting priests tell you about some make believe hell.

    Also no one really cares if you are feeling suicidal so people on here that whine about how awefull your life is get real! Go to a hospice and volunteer you will get a real picture of people dieing of disease and suffering. They do have peacefull deaths because they have to let go of this false world and they release this suffering hell hole and return to real Life and Sprit.
  2. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Hi there! I sure know how you feel like, i had been in the same situation
    in fact my therapist told me that i have some sort of disconnection
    betwine my soul as "myself" and my boddy. Damn i know how you feel like 100%
    This boddy of mine gave me some much pain, and it holding me like some sort of
    biological prison...

    Anyways, i would like to know you a bit better, will you share some information
    about yourself? And, what do think is the reason for the pain?
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello LoL,
    Welcome to the forum. I have been waiting to die for 15 years. So far no luck. I just lay there and wonder If this is going to work.Well the only thing that happened is I got fat, and went just a little crazy. So in the mean time Now that I have found the forum. I spend a lot of time on here.
    Can you give us a little insight on what is happening with you. We need to know so we know how to support you. Don't be afraid to speak your mind. I know you will find several people who will talk to you. So take a breather and come back and try again. If you fall we will be here to catch you!!:chopper:!!
  4. livingonlight

    livingonlight Active Member

    Well I am happy to tell you guys a little about me.
    I am 29 and since I was 12 I have been having the urge for self destruction. I do believe that this life is ment for joy so I do seek that in all things but as you know there is a very big gap between wanting joy and actually relaxing and allowing joy into your life.

    I have been on a spritual path since at least 21 years old but I remember buying my first book on Zen when I was 14.
    I think that certain people are just a little more sensitive to the suffering here and are operating on a different vibration then other people and that is the reason for our wanting to return to the Sprit world that is non-physical. We are also more sensitive to the Love and Joy that is present but the true and full expression of this love is only possible in the non-physical.

    I have had many time of crisis where I was very close to taking my life and I do still know that I am always close death and we all are. The way this society ignores their mortality makes me sad because people who realize that they can chose their time of death are sent to hospitals and labled insane.

    I will be happy to share some websites of different teachers that I listen to.
    I am on MSN so you can PM me if you would like my contact name. I can also give some more websites to spritual teachers who I really respect. I also like to chat if anyone would like to talk about the things that I have writen or any spritual issues

    Abraham channeled by Ester Hicks:

    Ram Dass
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