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I want to die and that terrifies me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by cerah33, Mar 17, 2010.

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  1. cerah33

    cerah33 New Member

    I'm scared because I feel myself getting dangerously close to suicide. I've always had suicidal ideations but never before has it been an urge this intense. I have several plans in mind, all of which will be 100% fatal and I don't know what's stopping me anymore. I don't have hope anymore that it will get better, because it won't. I am unable to change and it's become intolerable. I don't know what is wrong with me but it can't be fixed.

    To make matters worse I feel I am on the road to developing a prescription pill addiction because I've been taking them lately to self medicate, just to calm down and feel level. I have never experienced anything like this before and I know it could get bad. Addiction runs in my family and I swore I would never end up that way. The anxiety and despair is so overwhelming that the pills are my only relief so I don't know what to do. I've always just dealt with it in my head but it's become far too bad to do now.

    I don't know what to do anymore. It's like I've dug myself into a pit so far that I can't possibly get out.
  2. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    im sorry you feel so bad hun. do you want to tell us a bit more on why your feeling this low right now?
  3. Is you're addiction the only thing getting you down? If not what else? I know what you feel like, always having suicide with in sight. But when you finally make it to that point it's terrifying. How close are you, really?
  4. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    Tell us how you are doing now that you've written it down and have that part out of your system.
  5. Pebble

    Pebble Well-Known Member

    I have found talking my feelings and thoughts etc through on here really helps, I hope your able to open up so we can help you get through this hard time. Do you have any support around you like a CPN or dr or anything? x
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