My life is actually very good these days, and I have a bright future ahead of me. I got through all the crap, pulled myself out of it and started making changes. But I still have this overwhelming urge. I don't even know WHY. I would just very much like to die. I mean, I've got a good life nowadays.. but the urge is still there. I think about it all the time - but then what if I fail and it sets me right back to the start again? Can anyone relate? I don't even know why, I just can't be bothered living. I think about just leaving the house in the middle of the night and not coming back - not knowing where I'm going, whether it's to jump off a bridge or what. It's like I want to run away from something, but I don't know what it is. I have so much potential, but I really can't be bothered.