Why is life always so hard for me? I can feel like nobody is there who can always listen to me? Nobody understands me at all. You can say that there is really something wrong with me because I easily get mad at people for the wrong reasons. And then I do and say mean things. I was just trying to help myself because they did me wrong too. But, in the end, I'm the one who's guilty and then I'm left all alone with no one to turn to. No one. So, I want to kill myself and at the same time, I don't want to. I don't want my family to get embarrassed for having a suicidal child. I don't want people to think that I am suffering. I'm ashamed of it. I will feel weaker than I already am. I just want to disappear, in the meantime. To find out, if there is still anyone left who cares for me. Everyone hates me. Everyone doesn't even care if I leave. What am I going to do now?