I'm in so much emotional pain right now it's not funny. No one really asks if I'm ok and when they do ask, they don't really push for details. It's really hard for me to open up about this, even on a website to a bunch of strangers. I'm in this situation where I work but I don't have any money and I'm sure that a lot of people are in the same situation. This will seem petty but I work nights, I usually get home around 9:15 pm and I don't get to eat dinner at work. So, when I come home I'm starving and I've asked my family to put aside a plate but they never do. Today my dad came home and brought lunch for everyone but me. When I asked why my mom simply said "I didn't know you were home." I'm always home during the day. I don't have more than 3 friends I really get to talk to and they have lives during the day. Where else would I be? She knows this. My sister is pushing me out of her life. She confides in her best friend and I have to beg to get things out of her. I'm a telemarketer at work and it's hard for me to get sales. I'm the youngest person in my department by about 7 or 8 years. So my other coworkers bond and do things and don't invite me. I'm kind of in my own little corner struggling to do my job. This might all seem petty to some but to me it's very painful and it's killing me. I'm trying to back to school but I owe the school like $850. I filed for financial aid and I got it but now I have to pay the school back (because I did go in 2006 but I dropped out). I don't make much money and the money I do make has to go to the payments on my car. My cell phone has been shut off and since I'm trying to earn so much money, there is no possibility of turning my cell phone back on. I want to die so badly. I really do. I've been suffering with depression since I was 12. I've been suffering from suicidal tendencies since I was 16. I'm 21 now....I'm not much better. I can't get help because of the fact that I don't have health insurance yet. I have a Livejournal that I post all of my "angsty", suicidal thoughts on but I can guarantee that nobody reads it. Mostly because almost nobody knows it exists. I think I'm going to end my petty complaints here. This thread may be removed because now that a portion of what I'm going through is visible, it seems lame that I'm even posting it.