I'm so lost.. i don't understand anything.. i don't get it.. what's wrong with me? what have i done so terribly wrong that i deserve to feel this way? can't i just die.. can't you let me just disappear.. i'm so fucking down today i don't know what to do with myself and all i can think about is dying.. what the fuck is wrong with me. i know that if i die you die and yet its still fresh in my mind. will i really be that selfish? Would i really do that to you? I'm so done with life. i want out. i just want to be dead and gone. i wanna be gone.. why can't anyone understand that.. can't you just let me slip away and go forever.. can't you let me have just htat one last freebie that does me over.. can't you let me do just this one last thing.. give my body a reason to feel this pain.. give myself a reason to feel like this.. tell me that i am worth nothing to you.. tell me that i don't mean shit to anyone.. please..