I want to die in about a week

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DeniseAfterAll, Dec 14, 2012.

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  1. Hey,

    Um.. ..So I was on an unemployment benefit for a while. Too depressed to look for work, just sitting in my caravan turning the heater on and off. Too depressed to even play a video game or listen to music.

    Today I got a warning telling me that I'm going to be Reduced next week if I don't find work.

    I feel overwhelming helplessness, given that I can't even go out with friends, given not only the budget limit, but the fact that virtually none of my real life friends say Hi to me. Not even once a week.

    I'm no longer interested in this life. I'm a person who naturally takes her time to do things. I can't cope with this pressure.

    I capitulate.
  2. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    Depending on your country, government unemployment schemes are usually pretty good. If you do not feel like you are able to look for any long term employment just yet because of your depression or other circumstances, you can always talk things out with your G.P. and ask if they will be willing to fill out a disability support pension that you can turn in to your local welfare centre. With such things, it will also require an interview with your welfare case worker, but those normally do not last beyond 30 minutes and you need not do anything but tell them of your circumstances and it should be approved within the fortweek.
  3. Hi Leif, thanks for replying.

    I have a strong feeling that they will simply take me for a parasite feeding off society and making excuses to stay inside its host. I am embarrassed beyond comprehension.

    Actually, I've started applying for jobs, but they're not giving me enough time. This reduction will only take a toll on my morale. How will I even get the bus money to go to all of these interviews? It's so sick. I'm getting no Christmas presents because of lack of strong friendships in real life. On top of that, this big knock.

    I live in New Zealand, wasn't supposed to get this benefit in the first place.. not being a resident for 2 years. They had pity on me the first time. There probably won't be second chances. I also need money to fund my treatments being transgendered and stuff. It really sucks. It is draining.
  4. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    I really have no idea about what the welfare benefits are like in New Zealand or the processes are that governs them from a residential/non-residential stand point, sorry, but because of my work, I do have a few connections over there plus a close friend that is Dutch-born but living in Wellington without a NZ citizenship, so I would be more than happy to get in touch with them and let you know how it goes from there if you give me until Monday at the latest. I still think though that your best avenue for now regarding the situation is to talk with your G.P. and see if you can work something out from there. At least, it would not do any harm to give it a go at any rate. What I do know however is that the NZ welfare is not all that much different from the system that we have in Australia and while the aim is to get people off their system and into long term employment, when it comes to matters of mental health, the government is pretty cooperative and supportive.
    Christmas christmas christmas... personally, I never put much stock into any holiday, be it religious or otherwise, so that I do not even do birthdays. While presents are nice, I always felt it is much better to receive them throughout the year, not on days where you are made to feel obligated to give them and whether a present is a new telly or someone simply wishing you a great day makes little difference to me. Possessions, which can be expensive are cheap to me, compared with someone thinking good thoughts of you for the day. Sounds like a nasty cliche but I make my own happiness any way I can and it works for me. So this christmas will no doubt see me sitting down in front of the telly, blinds drawn and volume up full with, if I can find it in time, 'SchoolGirl Apocalypse' or otherwise, a nice gory Danish thriller (judge not what makes other people the most content! :bubbles:)
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