Suicidal thoughts woke me from my sleep. I want to kill myself right this minute. I know I am very ill. I don't know what to do. I just had a very bad hospital stay last week. The mental health unit of that hospital was the most unprofessional unit I have ever been in. It was torture to be there. I don't want to go into another hospital right now. These suicidal feelings are so strong and overwhelming. I am so scared right now. If I call a hotline, they will call the Sheriff's Dept. in my city. I don't want to be taken away in a police car. I won't drive myself to an ER. I am in such a terrible state. I don't even know why I want to die!