I want to Die NOW.

[Shad]

How long do I have to live with this hurt? I hurt 24/7. I have totally failed at life. I let all the ones that counted on me down.
That pain hurts so bad. Why God why? What did I do so wrong to deserve this much pain? The last thread that held my life together, the last thread of hope that got me out of bed in the morning and to keep trying is gone.
I always picked up the pieces before and tried one more time. But why bother now? My life is empty. My heart hurts so bad I have actual chest pains. Although I failed at nearly everything it was okay I would bounce back and try twice as hard and put twice as much heart into it. But how do you put your heart back into life again when your in this much pain? I need to find the courage to just do it. Just get it over with. There is so much I wanted to accomplish in life. So many more dreams. I keep thinking maybe things will get better. But reality tells me I'll be in the same situation again, Same hurt again later. I honestly cant think of a reason to live anymore.
I just want it over with and over with now. No more failures, No more hurt.
No more tears. What did I do so wrong to deserve this much hurt? I just pray in the after life there isnt any pain.

 

[lifeisashedog]

Yeap, I know what you mean with the chest pain. I feel blessed if I don't feel it at least for one hour in a day.

:hug:

 

[mike25]

How long do I have to live with this hurt? I hurt 24/7. I have totally failed at life. I let all the ones that counted on me down.
That pain hurts so bad. Why God why? What did I do so wrong to deserve this much pain? The last thread that held my life together, the last thread of hope that got me out of bed in the morning and to keep trying is gone.
I always picked up the pieces before and tried one more time. But why bother now? My life is empty. My heart hurts so bad I have actual chest pains. Although I failed at nearly everything it was okay I would bounce back and try twice as hard and put twice as much heart into it. But how do you put your heart back into life again when your in this much pain? I need to find the courage to just do it. Just get it over with. There is so much I wanted to accomplish in life. So many more dreams. I keep thinking maybe things will get better. But reality tells me I'll be in the same situation again, Same hurt again later. I honestly cant think of a reason to live anymore.
I just want it over with and over with now. No more failures, No more hurt.
No more tears. What did I do so wrong to deserve this much hurt? I just pray in the after life there isnt any pain.

That entry could have come from my own mouth. I feel your pain. You're very brave and resilient to have tolerated as much as you have. Remember that. You do have worthy qualities, and therefore you are a worthy human being. You can define your own definition of accomplishment; the world has it's expectations, because the world is a sick joke. I think some people are destined to suffer more in this physical life so that they don't suffer much in the next. :hug:
You're gonna be alright.

 

[patacake]

i too felt in tune with ur pain sweetie , i doubt u deserve any of it but with sadness amd hard times come weakness and the ability to keep picking oneself up becomes increasingly hard , i cant tell u how ezactly but something will come and make u fight again , the aching in your heart will be replaced my new hope someday

im so sorry im not at my greatest to come up with more encouragement but please hun feel free to msn if u need to talk

[email protected]

love jo xx

 

[Anime-Zodiac]

Nothing is written in stone even reality isn't. You can still achieve your goals and
dreams in life but in order to do that you need to firstly not give up.
Off course there will be tough times ahead but there will also be times of joy and
happiness and a life full of accomplishment, it's totally up to you.

 

[Stranger1]

Hello Shad,
I relate to the pains in my chest. I have been to a cardiolgist and he confirmed my suspicion. I was getting gas up under my rib cage. As far as other ailments, they are from the depression, it does cause physical problems.
Are you seeing a doc and have you been put on meds? At the very least you should talk to a therpist. Mine is very straight forward, she speaks her mind and if you don't like it don't let the door hit you in the ass!
As far as the people you think you have let down. If you get into therapy and either find a part time job or do somekind of volunteer work. It should show them that you are trying. Alot of people think you are just lazy. They have no clue at what we go thru on a dailey basis. Well take care Shad and try to hold your head high because depression is a disease.Talk to you later!!:chopper:!!!

 

[Shad]

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I'm not crazy, just hurt inside. Thank you. I hope I can be there for someone someday like you were here for me. Love Shad

 

[Petal]

Hey Shad, I can relate to your post :hug: I agree with mystic eyes, you still have the chance to achieve your goals, as long as you don't give up. I also get those chest pains:dry: I believe they are anxiety attacks in some form. Do you see a therapist? Do you take meds? :hug:

 

[DudeWithStufftoSay]

Hey, I think I know what the chest pain is. I sometimes get it and you know what it is? A mixture of Anger, Guilt and sadness. There is only one cure. Cry. Cry and Cry and Cry for all of the bad in the world, cry for everone and everything. I did it once. It helps. If you ever need some support, I'm willing to help.