i want to die right now, i cant do it msyelf

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by vassago, Jul 29, 2008.

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  1. vassago

    vassago Member

    here's the deal. i'm in love and sexually attracted to my sister, shes 17 im 21, we met when we were kids as i was raised by my grandparents in europe and my parents were here in the states,

    my sister and i spoke many times even tonight i told her how i felt but she seems to not give a damn, she doesn't care, she' afraid of getting caught and wants to make her own life

    i can't even stand the feeling of being without her or even worse someone else being with her, i pleaded to her but she just doesn't say anything, my fucking parents are morons always talking about divorce i dont fucking know what to do

    i wish i had a shot-gun, it;s the only way i'd go out and not risk being saved or remaining as a vegetable,

    i want to leave this house but i know eventually i'll kill myself as time goes on and i'll only suffer till i get the courage to end myself so might as well end it now and spare myself the coming pain alone

  2. nowayout1011

    nowayout1011 Member

    You need to be inpatient ( in a hospital or facility ).You have a sexual addiction to your sister and you can't control it. As for your parents...you need to set them down in the kitchen and tell them how their behavior is affecting you. As for the other issue, you need 24/7 help. I've been there and had a similar experience. Addiction to someone or sex is basically :sad:the same. Please get help...you can't do this on yoiur own.
  3. hare

    hare Active Member

    please get help! you can't give up without putting up a fight. it's crucially important that you stay safe.
  4. vassago

    vassago Member

    here's the thing, she doesn't want to be with me she wants to be with other men, seems natural but to me this is the end of the world

    im in college majoring in history minoring in astronomy, i know quite a lot about life history and who we are as humans etc so sometimes i say to myself "just fucking do it it wont even hurt" but then i think of my stupid parents crying and shit and their friends judging them etc i dont like my parents i fucking dont even want to talk to them, but i still feel a sense of duty not to do this to them

    i also get so desperate at the thought of never hugging or kissing my sister again, i want to start tearing the flesh of my skin

    i dont know how much longer i can go on like this, the worst part is also the fact that my sister thinks im just talking and being dramatic so i think she might simply be ignoring me or dismissing what im saying to her, but i know that i mean what i say when my time is very close, seriously if i get a gun somehow within the next few days it;s done deal i even looked into prices for getting cremated and im thinking of leaving some money so that my parents dont have to pay for the costs

    again im cool with it in a sick way im looking forward to seeing whats next if there is anything which i doubt, i just truly mean this when i say that i will miss my sister forever
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I agree with NoWayOut,
    You need to have yourself admitted voluntarily,It saves you from being Baker Acted. You need to be cared about!! I won't lie to you, but you have a long road ahead of you. So don't put it off, you need professional help.
    We will be here for you. we can offer you advice and just plain talk to you. please don't do anything rash. Talk it out and stay with us! we take everything you say seriously! Please talke the advice and go to the hospital,you need help!!
  6. notwanting2live

    notwanting2live Well-Known Member

    I agree with NoWayOut and Stranger1, you do need prof. help, and this would be best to do it at the hospital, as they could assess you, and give you the help that you need.

    You mentioned that using a shot gun will definetly do the job. Research shows that there is still a possibilty of surviving, and ending up like a 'veggie' all of your life. Please dont resort to this. x

    PM me anytime. Take Care

    Xx Sky xX
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Seek help for your addiction. It is not healthy and your thoughts are unwanted by your sister.
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