I want to die so bad, but I'm scared of failing.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by hatingmyself, Jan 9, 2012.

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  1. hatingmyself

    hatingmyself New Member

    I can't handle living anymore. I don't see the point. Where's the point of living a life full of pain and suffering and sadness just to die and be forgotten? I have no one that I can talk to, no one I can share my true feelings with. I cry every damn day and I can't take it anymore. My family doesn't understand. They assume I'm just depressed because I'm gay. But that's not it at all. Sure its tough sometimes, and I hate being in love with this guy who is my my very idea of my perfect man, except he's straight. I don't know why I feel this way, I'm 25 and should know better, but my heart hurts when I just hear his name. My whole life has been just one let down after another, and I just can't take it. I am void and incomplete, and I don't see a point in my existence. I would love to believe that everyone has a reason for being, and there's a grand design created by all-knowing deity, but I can't. I am not religious in any way. If we all die, then I want to choose how and when I go.

    My eyes are sore from crying so much. My note is written. I wish i had more time to tell my friend how I feel about him, but it wouldn't make a difference. I want things that I cannot have. Story of my life. At this point I'm ready to be recycled into the earth. I am just afraid of failure, and having to face people if i don't succeed.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun your friend keep him as a good friend hun be grateful for that okay Not many of us have a good friend You will find that special someone that will be able to return your love You have to stop wanting what you can't have and look in another direction get out and find that someone that can return your feelings.
    You will harm so many if you leave their hearts will never heal don't let depression fool you into thinking they won't remember
    You are so young 25 so much time to have your world change around for you You tear up that letter YOU go get some help some therapy to get you out of that dark space your in okay call crisis line go to hospital you get the support you need to move forward hun okay please
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