I want to die so badly

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by darkrider, Apr 8, 2009.

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  1. darkrider

    darkrider Well-Known Member

    I am a worthless waste of space recluse.

    I am empty. I am a burden to my parents with my constant misery.

    I have too many problems. There's no point trying any more. It's over.
  2. katmandu1

    katmandu1 SF Friend & Antiquitie's Friend

    I'm glad you came to the forum and wrote what you were feeling. We all have feelings like the ones you describe...or we wouldn't be in this forum. Can you tell us more about what got you to this point? Maybe we can help you see things in a different way or at the very least support you through this very hard time!! We are here for you. :hug:
  3. darkrider

    darkrider Well-Known Member

    I have nothing in my life, as I say i'm a recluse. I have too many problems, emotional and physical. I've felt alone my whole life, I just don't want to be around any more. All those people who have taken their lives before me, why on earth shouldnt I.

    I tested the rope before. Now its just a case of courage.
  4. katmandu1

    katmandu1 SF Friend & Antiquitie's Friend

    I can understand why you feel so sad and alone, but there are things you can do to help yourself. This forum is on of those things. Now that you have found us, give a chance to help you through your troubles!! I have felt as you do on many occasions...sure there was no help for me, I still get those feelings sometimes...but I have people to help me. When you are depressed you see only the negative; your view becomes so very narrow. Have you see a professional about what you are going through? If not, you may want to consider it...it could be enormously helpful. But, don't give up without letting us have a chance to help you!! :hug:
  5. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    I'm sure your parents will love you - regardless of what problems you have. Though I don't know your parents; are you able to talk to them? Can they help you get through this? Good parents will always love you no matter how much you are struggling.
  6. darkrider

    darkrider Well-Known Member

    Yes they know I have depression. I see someone for it, but none of it matters. I am the only me.

    I really, really want to go pretty soon. Last week I tested something out and got a little scared, but not as much as I thought I would. It just shows you how empty I am. The process of killing myself is not as scary as carrying on in this world. I feel like i've overstayed too long already. I wanted to kill myself when I was 16. For the years since i've been completely empty and alone. My time is coming, it's long overdue now.
  7. d-pressed

    d-pressed Well-Known Member

    Hi there,

    Actually you've taken a pretty big step by coming to this forum. I don't think you want to die - you want this feeling to go away.

    How long have you been seeing someone for your depression? These things take time and are most effective when you are taking other measures to try to get better. Maybe it's time for a change of environment, or to take up a new opportunity and do something you've always wanted to do. You say you're a recluse, well, the only way to change that is by going out more. I do know this is far easier said than done - the process of getting better is painful - but you're more likely to get rid of the depression or be able to cope better with difficult situations in the future. If you do a google search for local meetup groups or evening classes I'm sure you'll find something that will appeal, and you can go along. Just remember to keep it up, no matter how disheartening it may be the first time around, it will get better, and you will get better.

    I had awful depressive phases for many years and was incredibly lonely, I never thought it would be any different, death was supposedly all I wanted. I went into a hospital and went through hell, then I moved away from home and got myself out there doing new things - some bad and some good experiences - and the picture is looking totally different now from how it did, it's madness, really.

    Please keep us posted and keep going!! There IS more to life than depression!!
  8. d-pressed

    d-pressed Well-Known Member

    AND, you are NOT worthless at all. This is the illness talking. You will understand this eventually:smile:
  9. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter


    no one here is worthless. you're no exception! :heart:
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