Hi there,
Actually you've taken a pretty big step by coming to this forum. I don't think you want to die - you want this feeling to go away.
How long have you been seeing someone for your depression? These things take time and are most effective when you are taking other measures to try to get better. Maybe it's time for a change of environment, or to take up a new opportunity and do something you've always wanted to do. You say you're a recluse, well, the only way to change that is by going out more. I do know this is far easier said than done - the process of getting better is painful - but you're more likely to get rid of the depression or be able to cope better with difficult situations in the future. If you do a google search for local meetup groups or evening classes I'm sure you'll find something that will appeal, and you can go along. Just remember to keep it up, no matter how disheartening it may be the first time around, it will get better, and you will get better.
I had awful depressive phases for many years and was incredibly lonely, I never thought it would be any different, death was supposedly all I wanted. I went into a hospital and went through hell, then I moved away from home and got myself out there doing new things - some bad and some good experiences - and the picture is looking totally different now from how it did, it's madness, really.
Please keep us posted and keep going!! There IS more to life than depression!!