I want to die so "much"

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Stylez, Apr 25, 2007.

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  1. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    i know this all seems just like words on a page to you folks and its probably hard to read all the seemingly banal topics of suicide as oxymoronic as that may sound.

    but dying to me is infinite peace....sure i know noone can be sure but i know energy never seizes to exist it only transforms into something....else? or what have you. So in the least i feel we transform into something neither positive or negative but we just be.....as we are in life.

    any advice or viewpoints would be great to hear.

    peace to all and hope you guys well.

    so when will i end it......well if all goes to shit i know it sounds unoriginal but immediatly without a doubt.

    its funny things are going so well in my life right at this moment...that i know they are going to turn to shit and thats why i say "immediatly without a doubt"

    I mean listen to that.....is this what life is.....bad shit mixed in some good shit? im tired of it....life will never be satisfying to me. It hurts my heart to think back....to yesterday even.

    I love you
  2. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    well what can i say death seems so right....no worries about shit...i dont even know what to put down....i want grateful to be well she's cutting again i think she hasn't been for two days...pray for her yall.
  3. Robin

    Robin Guest

    I think we share a similar trait, and that is we both catastrophise alot, we see what can happen and immediately see that it wikll happen and imagine the worst that can happen from there.

    It's easy to see in light of this how you might want to check out before everything turns to shit on a hot plate but maybe if things are good right now you have a base in which to build upon.

    I only know a little bit about you, but I know you worry about your parents alot and your palce in the world when they eventually pass on as we all do at some point, it's scary being alone in the world with noone to help you fend for yourself. If you could use now the time to get treated for what you readily admit is wrong with your mental health and build upon the good in your life I see no reason why sometime myabe far in the future you can't look after yourself when you are left alone.
  4. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    Wow...Deep man
  5. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    i hate bitching like this and to be honest i sound like im a weak person. i would rather die thinking i was strong then to die with the reputation of being weak.

    i know im overstating this to much but the looming effect of a parent dying is in away making me not enjoy life as much as i want to. to the people with a death of a parent tell me hows its like....thanks
  6. monicallen

    monicallen New Member

    you can still hold on, i know its not easy , if you need to talk to someone about anything just mail me or pm me anytime , its alfie.a.o@hotmail.com
    hugs. monica
  7. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    will do monica thanks....actually can you add me everyone adds me and i havent figured out how to add other people...my msn is jdawg_46@hotmail.com
  8. leptoon

    leptoon Well-Known Member

    I can only imagine what you might be going through. I have lost two brothers. One in some kind of accident in Germany, not really sure, and the other I have never met but I know he just recently died. Its kind of heartbreaking to have a brother die before you ever got a chance to meet him.

    Anyway, I know this must be hard for you but you have to be strong for your dad. Give him you to lean on when he is down.

    I don't really know what to say. I don't deal with death that often so I am not as experienced on it as I would like to be.

    If you ever need anything, you know how to reach me.

    Much love,
  9. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    whew....just heard from love.....fuck man she od' on tuesday.....passed out for hours....see what your doing to me love fuckin kill me already
  10. Fuzzy Monkey

    Fuzzy Monkey Well-Known Member

    well im glad that u care bout me but i really dont want ppl caring ill only hurt u it always happens i hurt the ones that care not on purpose tho but i do not know or meaning to. i know how u feel but please dont kill urself or hurt urself i care and love u alot.
  11. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    i feel sooooo sad for you love
  12. Fuzzy Monkey

    Fuzzy Monkey Well-Known Member

    please dont like my mom says i made myself like this i need to get better on my own,
  13. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    why would your mom say that they should give you support i cant believe them....fuck come live with me
  14. Fuzzy Monkey

    Fuzzy Monkey Well-Known Member

    i wish but im not 18 urll get in trouble i wouldnt want that to happen.
  15. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    say this: mom and dad i love you but i seriously think i need help.....i od'd on tuesday and was out for hours.....i dont know what to do...when you hit i feel you dont love me....please help me...im begging you....i love you....i will die if you dont help me....im been feeling like this for years......help me.
  16. Fuzzy Monkey

    Fuzzy Monkey Well-Known Member

    ive tryied it they dont care i did this to myself.
  17. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    just say it they care...say it word for word...just read it if you have too...do anything you can to get their attention...maybe you need to get sectioned....see someone seriously
  18. Fuzzy Monkey

    Fuzzy Monkey Well-Known Member

    im dealing with it alone thats my only choice.
  19. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    look i love you alot as a friend but if you dont get professional help seriously i dont know how much advice i could give you if you dont listen. you are causing me to have headaches at nite...its fine but i just want you to be alirhgt. handling things yourself is not your only choice...i never is....how old are you?
  20. Fuzzy Monkey

    Fuzzy Monkey Well-Known Member

    im 16 i cant get any kind of help without parent consent not til oct. at least, ill be 17 then i could talk to the school social worker without parent consent i think, im gonna get help just not any time soon, i kinnda like this drug thing it numbs the pain for awhile.
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