Well it's kind of just an overall long-term depression, I think it's chemical more than anything else. I've always been really shy, way too smart, way too sensitive to criticism. I think a lot of people are much more able to go into "live in the moment" mode whereas I want to see the big plan for everything and understand what I'm supposed to be doing and why. I have no direction, no advice, it's just "figure it out on your own". And then no one understands that it's kind of disconcerting when I can't answer basic questions like "What the hell is going on?" "What should I be doing?" "How do I do it?" but yet everyone else seems to be going about their business as if everything makes sense and life feels good all the time. I think the answers to my questions are like 150 years in the future and until then everything just seems meaningless. It's like being instructed to put together a billion piece jigsaw puzzle and no one but me has a problem with that. Also I have girl problems, which doesn't help. I don't know, it's just, what does anyone think the point is? And how do you stay happy?