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I want to die very badly

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by cohiba, Aug 5, 2008.

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  1. cohiba

    cohiba New Member

    I'm pretty sure there's never been anything I've wanted more in my life. I don't want to eat, I don't want to do anything except collapse into some kind of shadow. Everything feels like a waste of time. I don't think my brain is like everyone else's. It feels like my sole purpose is to buy <mod edit-gentlelady-methods>and then maybe everything would be ok. I wonder how anybody deals with this and why anyone believes I should have to.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 5, 2008
  2. DrowningInTears

    DrowningInTears Well-Known Member

    I don't see a point in me being here either. i just dont kno ur situation. i dont kno wat to say mine is hopeless maybe urs isnt? let us kno any details u can.
  3. cohiba

    cohiba New Member

    Well it's kind of just an overall long-term depression, I think it's chemical more than anything else. I've always been really shy, way too smart, way too sensitive to criticism. I think a lot of people are much more able to go into "live in the moment" mode whereas I want to see the big plan for everything and understand what I'm supposed to be doing and why. I have no direction, no advice, it's just "figure it out on your own". And then no one understands that it's kind of disconcerting when I can't answer basic questions like "What the hell is going on?" "What should I be doing?" "How do I do it?" but yet everyone else seems to be going about their business as if everything makes sense and life feels good all the time. I think the answers to my questions are like 150 years in the future and until then everything just seems meaningless. It's like being instructed to put together a billion piece jigsaw puzzle and no one but me has a problem with that. Also I have girl problems, which doesn't help. I don't know, it's just, what does anyone think the point is? And how do you stay happy?
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am sorry you are facing all those issues. Have you sought help for your depression? Counseling and/or meds might be able to help you. Don't choose to take your life until you have exhausted all other options. There will always be options available if you search to find them. :hug:
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Cohiba,
    You know depression Is usually a side effect of a chemical imbalance. Alot of us have it and we deal with it on a dailey basis. Sure we slip every now and then. Thats when the forum steps in to offer you support and advice. I live with dailey thoughts of suicide, but I am not putting them in to motion. I do my best to work through them.
    Are you in therapy? If not then you should think very seriously about finding one. And are you on meds? You brought up chemical imbalance, so you must know meds can help make a difference. Take Care of yourself and keep us posted on how you are doing????
  6. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    As the others have said, seeking therapy would be a very good idea. They might be able to give you meds that would help with the chemical imbalance that causes depression. Really consider it. It might be the right step.
    There is help and there is hope, so don't give up yet hun. :hug:
  7. LastCrusade

    LastCrusade Well-Known Member

    you might have a self-confidence issue. Unless you really want to change and speak out, things will remain the same. Remember, change must come from within and you must want it.
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