i want to die

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by _Lily_, Jul 25, 2013.

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  1. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    I want to die
    I posted my story on a Muslim forum that am a member of because i thought it would be ok to
    it was about abuse i didn't go into detail i just said i was abused
    Then next thing i get a sister coming back at me saying to remove it and its was disgusting

    If that is disgusting i must be disgusting

    I cant even cry about it
    If i had blades i would use them but i throw them out
    I am so angry
    I should die am worthless
     
  2. Mayflower7

    Mayflower7 Banned Member

    Hi DarkAsylum,
    I am so sorry you were treated like that. You are not disgusting, abuse is disgusting. I am sorry, I don't know if you have the right to complain on this other forum, often it's in the rules that a moderator/admin decision is final on post content etc.
    It was not your fault you were abused, please don't hurt yourself. You are not worthless, upset often triggers any abuse victim. I think you did nothing wrong. I would be livid as well.
    Take care
    Kate
     
  3. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    Thank you for posting back to me
    The thread has since been deleted
    I know its not just this that making me feel suicidal my anti depressants where changed to ones that help with OCD
    so i think its maybe because of that am feeling more vulnerable
     
  4. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I am so sorry this happened to you...... both abuses. When you were originally abused. And the abuse put upon you by the words spoken to you on the forum.
    I know the pain of self hatred stemming from being told that things are the "victums" fault is huge. And her words were too close to that. It is very hard to believe the real truth. But the real truth is that nothing was your fault. There are some people who are so programmed that they cannot understand that. They honestly call it disgusting. But let me say again that I believe your words probably did good there. If just one person who has been abused herself read the words then it may well have helped her to not feel so alone. She probably will not let you know. so many women and girls have been abused. Thats why I think its a very safe bet that someone who has been abused read your words. But she likely will never speak to thank you.

    The person who admonished you for speaking your truth is not as courageous as you. She still believes that it is the victums fault. But this is the opposite of truth. It is never the victums fault. You are not bad. You did nothing wrong. I promise you I am right. It takes courage to speak up as you did. I believe your words helped. And I am sure you are good and nothing was your fault. I hope you can put my words where this "sister's" words were. But I know that is so hard to do. Again I want to tell you that nothing was your fault. And you did nothing wrong. The girl who responded was very misled. You are good !! :hug:
     
  5. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    hey dark asylum,

    good work for throwing outthe blades. that's a really good start. now what about for your next step, starting a positive list..... each day, write down something you like about yourself.

    just a thought..
     
  6. rtrt46546565

    rtrt46546565 Well-Known Member

    You're not disgusting. The person who told you that is disgusting.
     
  7. Mayflower7

    Mayflower7 Banned Member

    Hi DarkAsylum,
    You are welcome, I hope your medication starts working really soon. I do not think you did over-react at all. It is normal to feel very vulnerable when you are triggered. We are all here for you on this forum.
    Take care
    Kate
     
  8. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    Thank you all
    I am feeling a bit better now
     
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