I feel so low unsure if am sane or insane. Today I ate loads pig I have an eatting disorder I restrict some time binge sometimes and a few times when my husband isn't here purge I am also obese I can't get any help because my bmi is too high am 40 bmi has to be 16 or lower the only way they will see me is if am diabetic witch am not. Am so tired of this shit. I also hear voices and see things zombies with there skin hanging off so graphic I took my night time meds and am in bed with my phone. I don't want my husband to know what am planing but I can't say it here either. I can't call anyone because my husband will know there's something wrong I don't want spoil christmas for him am waiting for after the hoildays to do this. I need to do this