I want to die

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by pisces-music-girl, Sep 9, 2007.

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  1. pisces-music-girl

    pisces-music-girl Well-Known Member

    I don't even know why. I'm not at the worst I could possibly be, I'm not out of control, but I dread everything.

    I don't want to return to school, who needs the fucking stress? I don't want to fake my happiness, fake my I'm okay smiles, and... everything! THe stress! I don't need it! It kills me!

    I'm SICK of myself. I'm so fucking selfish. I can't rely on him to save me, to fix my every need, to comfort me when I'm sad, to calm me down when I'm angry... IT'S SELFISH. He has a girlfriend that he should be talking to instead of me. HE HAS SOMEONE ELSE, AND I BETTER UNDERSTAND THAT.

    My friends don't get it. I don't even have the strenght to type this. I just don't want go on... they're obvlivious to my pain, my tiredness, my screaming...

    Help me, save me... I'm screaming for you, Kyle, listen to me.

    I don't know why I want to die. I just do.

  2. Forlornspirit

    Forlornspirit Well-Known Member

    I may not know what's going through your head. But, I can say for certain, that you are not selfish. To want comfort from someone, is nothing to be ashamed of. Every human has needs, and every human wants to fulfil them.

    If you'd like to talk, I'm only a PM away.
    Please, take care.
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    We all need that special someone we can feel safe and comfortable talking with. If he doesn't mind sharing with you, don't worry about it. you should in no way feel guilty for it. You are not selfish for having that need. It is hard to put on that face and pretend things are okay. School can be one of the hardest places of all. people notice when you are not the same smiley, okay person they expect you to be. Many times instead of trying to support you, they stay away instead. They are unsure what to do, or how to help. You do need your education hun. I know you may not think that now, but the future can be very different for you depending on your broad base of knowledge. Don't give up. Do what you can to get throuigh and survive. We are here to support you as much as we can. :hug:
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