I want to die

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Rukia, Nov 20, 2007.

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  1. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    The voices are telling me to end it now, and I think they're right. Talking to my psychiatrist only made things worse. I was almost happy last night, I had hope, but it's all gone now. I don't want to go through the same as I did last week, but I can feel that it has already started. Death is so tempting right now, I don't care if I end up in hell. I want to wait until tomorrow or Saturday to end it, but I'm not sure if I can stop myself this time.

    The voices have a really good plan. :yes: It's going to work if I do it right. Guilt is the only thing that can stop me, and right now I don't feel guilty at all. :unsure: I don't want to hurt anyone, but I don't want me to be in pain either. My head is a mess, I don't even know what I'm writing. :sad:
  2. Nessarose

    Nessarose Well-Known Member

    Hun, please, do not listen to the voices. They are malicious, and they do not have your best interests at heart. I felt worse after talking to my psychiatrist, too, and though some doctors seem a bit...detached, I do believe they care.

    Please don't go through with the plan. Your posts have helped so much, and you're such a caring, loving person. Try to love yourself and live for yourself; yes, live. Although it can seem like a curse, life is precious. Depression and schizophrenia/ schizoaffective are illnesses and they can be treated.

    Rukia, if people online can care so much about you, then the people who know you in real life must care incredibly about you. Please care for yourself. You deserve to live happily. I know that when the voices are there, everything seems unbearable, but they can go away. They may not go away permanently, but there are times of joy and peace. Take care of yourself, sweetheart. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
  3. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    I know that people care about me, that's why I've been fighting this all these years. I've tried living for me and it just won't work. It would be like if I lived for someone I hate. I just bought the last thing I need to end it, but I'll try my best to stay alive.
  4. Beret

    Beret Staff Alumni

    Rukia :hug: please say strong hun and dont listen to your voices.
  5. Nessarose

    Nessarose Well-Known Member


    I know I can't change your mind, but I hope you'll find the help and support you need. :hug: It's hard to trudge on when we're sick, but things can and often do get better. I hope you're feeling better soon. :hug:
  6. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Please don't do anything. Here if you need to talk :hug:
  7. alwaysincrisis

    alwaysincrisis Well-Known Member

    I'm new here so I dont know you but you come across to me as such a brave person. It must be soul destroying to hear voices but if they were your friends they would tell you how good a person you are and not tell you to do bad things...

    All the very best.....be safe......
  8. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    Thank you all for your replys. :grouphug: My head is still a mess, but I think I'll make it through the night. :unsure:
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