I feel like i'm going to end up committing suicide one of these days. I know a lot of people say that, but I really mean it. There's no help for me. No nurse or psychiatrist can help me because i'm not sure they even know what's wrong. I feel depressed, yet they treat me for psychosis. All they want to talk about is psychosis even though I want help for my feelings of depression. I always seem to have a headache that never goes away despite taking painkillers, I have nobody to talk to, I sleep from 5am - 3pm and generally feel like a zombie. I can't even read much either (something I loved doing) because of the pain in my head. I can't concentrate on tv because I have so many thoughts racing through my head. I pathetically tried to hang myself from a basketball post in my garden and even failed that. Just like I failed the overdose I took in december. I've contemplated throwing myself infront of a speeding train but I couldn't go through with it because of the impact it'd have on the driver. I've thought about jumping but I couldn't find an appropriate place to do so. I've now decided that i'll jump from beachyhead. That should be easy, one small step and there'd be no turning back. I wouldn't be able to call out for help when I jump. My survival instinct won't be able to do anything. I imagine that i'd die fairly quickly anyway so it seems ideal.