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I want to *die*

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M

marthijn1987

#1
This Monday I will be 19 years old! :sad:

And I am still not happy!:sad: :sad: :sad:

I want to die so badly! I don’t want to get older anymore! Live is hopeless!

I hate live, it’s so boring, I have so many bad luck!

I just want to die.

Live is not made for me, I really hate it, there is nothing I like, but how to die?

I just want to die in a view seconds, why is it so difficult to die!

I really don’t know it anymore!:mellow: :eek:hmy: :sad:
 
#5
Okay, this is an odd approach on my part but I am gonna say it anyway. Happy 19th Birthday! Because you will live that long and you will have a happy one. I know it seems hopeless now, when something affirming as a birthday comes it does get people down, it causes one to evaluate everything in life so I understand where your coming from but please, keep going, things will get better! Are you at uni? Do you work full time? What do you do professionally? I can't promise to make everything okay but I will try okay? PM me if you need to okay?

Look after yourself mate, it will get better,
 
M

marthijn1987

#8
Hi ginock,:smile:

I am student! in 3,5 years I can go to University...But I don't know what to choose!
 
#10
What sort of subjects did you enjoy at school? What sort of things do you like to do in your spare time? I am at a great college doing IT (which I love), but the best thing about it is that it specifically caters for anyone with some kind of a dissability, be it mental (like me) or physical. They really support me and help me. When I lost my job my world turned upside down, now I am greatful because it has opened this world to me.

I am not going to say something to trite as "every cloud has a silver lining", but things can happen that will make it easier :)

Take care
 
M

marthijn1987

#12
Thanks Jets4Life! :smile: :smile: I have read it, it's beautiful, I will download it later.

Are you so lonely?

ginock,

Subjects:

English
Dutch
German
Economics
Maths
History
geography
physics
 
#13
Thats a good range of subjects you have there :smile: - is there a specific one you enjoy above all? Is there one that really makes you excited about it?
 
M

marthijn1987

#14
Hi ginock,

That's the problem, I don't know which one to choose, well I like economics and history.

I have studied Dutch rights,Management, and economisc before but I failed.

I can do this again, but...First I wanted to be a laywer, but I don't want to protect every type off human. And rights is reading and reading....

Now I have to wait 3.5 years,than I can go to the University, and than I have to choose, so I can wait....But for now I don't know.

And the thing is I feel so old...Monday I am 19:
19+3.5=22.5
22.5+4 years University=
-------------
26.5

So I am 26 If I have my University, isn't that old? Well it makes the hell nervous! :eek:hmy: :sad:
 
A

Allergic to life

#15
HI Mart1987

26 is not old hun, and that time at uni you may well discover a life that you never ever thought would be in your path, uni opens up so many doors that they have to open the windows as well.

I find life quiet boring, problem is im quiet creative so unless i see something that i have created now and again, i get very cloudy and bored.

Remember you will have 1 up on many peeps at Uni, some peopel dont knwo what it is to be looking at life as we do.
when you get to Uni you would of been through this depression and walked out the otherside.

You will know what to say to it when it comes calling again.
Chances are your fellow students will have thier first episode, you may well be able to use your knowledge to help others on campus or site.

I missed out on Uni and its a place i wish i relay went to.
I mean Hollyoaks just looks a ball.

And as for dieing, well i can't denie i think it most days, but i hold my breath and it doesnt work.
I believe if sad and tiered and stressed enough then a heart will stop and that is when I know i need to die.

loads of thoughts and strength to you. xxxx
J xxx
 

TheBLA

The biggest loser ever to live.
#16
At my university at least, theres a bunch of middle aged college students there, which surprised me. I'm hating college very much right now, I hate being 18 and I don't think I'll be alive by my 20th birthday or so. :sad:
 
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