I want to *die*

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by marthijn1987, Jan 7, 2006.

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  1. marthijn1987

    marthijn1987 Guest

    This Monday I will be 19 years old! :sad:

    And I am still not happy!:sad: :sad: :sad:

    I want to die so badly! I don’t want to get older anymore! Live is hopeless!

    I hate live, it’s so boring, I have so many bad luck!

    I just want to die.

    Live is not made for me, I really hate it, there is nothing I like, but how to die?

    I just want to die in a view seconds, why is it so difficult to die!

    I really don’t know it anymore!:mellow: :eek:hmy: :sad:
     
  2. are you single?
     
  3. marthijn1987

    marthijn1987 Guest

    Yes!:eek:hmy: :sad:
     
  4. Well, you will be happier with someone special. Would you ever think of moving to Canada to be with me?:smile:
     
  5. ginock

    ginock Member

    Okay, this is an odd approach on my part but I am gonna say it anyway. Happy 19th Birthday! Because you will live that long and you will have a happy one. I know it seems hopeless now, when something affirming as a birthday comes it does get people down, it causes one to evaluate everything in life so I understand where your coming from but please, keep going, things will get better! Are you at uni? Do you work full time? What do you do professionally? I can't promise to make everything okay but I will try okay? PM me if you need to okay?

    Look after yourself mate, it will get better,
     
  6. marthijn1987

    marthijn1987 Guest

    Ehm, but I don't know you?

    What do you do in live? Hobbies etc...
     
  7. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Ginock has a good approach :)

    He's right!
     
  8. marthijn1987

    marthijn1987 Guest

    Hi ginock,:smile:

    I am student! in 3,5 years I can go to University...But I don't know what to choose!
     

  9. All you need to know is I live in Alberta, I am good hearted. I love nature and travel. I will be there for you.:smile:
     
  10. ginock

    ginock Member

    What sort of subjects did you enjoy at school? What sort of things do you like to do in your spare time? I am at a great college doing IT (which I love), but the best thing about it is that it specifically caters for anyone with some kind of a dissability, be it mental (like me) or physical. They really support me and help me. When I lost my job my world turned upside down, now I am greatful because it has opened this world to me.

    I am not going to say something to trite as "every cloud has a silver lining", but things can happen that will make it easier :)

    Take care
     
  11. And Marthijn, I posted a song up on the forum just for you. If you can download it, I want you to listen to it.
     
  12. marthijn1987

    marthijn1987 Guest

    Thanks Jets4Life! :smile: :smile: I have read it, it's beautiful, I will download it later.

    Are you so lonely?

    ginock,

    Subjects:

    English
    Dutch
    German
    Economics
    Maths
    History
    geography
    physics
     
  13. ginock

    ginock Member

    Thats a good range of subjects you have there :smile: - is there a specific one you enjoy above all? Is there one that really makes you excited about it?
     
  14. marthijn1987

    marthijn1987 Guest

    Hi ginock,

    That's the problem, I don't know which one to choose, well I like economics and history.

    I have studied Dutch rights,Management, and economisc before but I failed.

    I can do this again, but...First I wanted to be a laywer, but I don't want to protect every type off human. And rights is reading and reading....

    Now I have to wait 3.5 years,than I can go to the University, and than I have to choose, so I can wait....But for now I don't know.

    And the thing is I feel so old...Monday I am 19:
    19+3.5=22.5
    22.5+4 years University=
    -------------
    26.5

    So I am 26 If I have my University, isn't that old? Well it makes the hell nervous! :eek:hmy: :sad:
     
  15. HI Mart1987

    26 is not old hun, and that time at uni you may well discover a life that you never ever thought would be in your path, uni opens up so many doors that they have to open the windows as well.

    I find life quiet boring, problem is im quiet creative so unless i see something that i have created now and again, i get very cloudy and bored.

    Remember you will have 1 up on many peeps at Uni, some peopel dont knwo what it is to be looking at life as we do.
    when you get to Uni you would of been through this depression and walked out the otherside.

    You will know what to say to it when it comes calling again.
    Chances are your fellow students will have thier first episode, you may well be able to use your knowledge to help others on campus or site.

    I missed out on Uni and its a place i wish i relay went to.
    I mean Hollyoaks just looks a ball.

    And as for dieing, well i can't denie i think it most days, but i hold my breath and it doesnt work.
    I believe if sad and tiered and stressed enough then a heart will stop and that is when I know i need to die.

    loads of thoughts and strength to you. xxxx
    J xxx
     
  16. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    At my university at least, theres a bunch of middle aged college students there, which surprised me. I'm hating college very much right now, I hate being 18 and I don't think I'll be alive by my 20th birthday or so. :sad:
     
  17. theorangeangel-x

    theorangeangel-x New Member

    Try opening a blog or something to keep you per-occupied.
    Just to keep your mind off, dying and suicide.
    Stay Alive and Strong. :))

    -x
     
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