i want to die

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Ouroboros, May 12, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    OK, so i feel like a broken record really.. same old reasons, feeling totally crap right now, one look in the mirror and i literally would rather drop dead there and then than carry on breathing for one more single second. I hate being inside this body. i do not wish to stay in it any longer.
     
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    What do you find so awful about your body?
     
  3. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    I hate my skin, especially on my face, nothing helps and i can't hide it.
     
  4. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    Whats wrong with your body.
    Have a bath keep fit.eat well.no one likes their body.i
    Put on loads weight but now im losing it.from meds not from eating.
    Theres always tomorrow
     
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    is it the dreaded acne?

    There are a number of treatments for it, a friend of mine had a sun lamp treatment at our local hospital that improved it no end.
    While a male friend, who had the worst acne I've ever seen, just grew a beard and hid it.
     
  6. Kisa

    Kisa Member

    Biggest thing that has helped everyone I know with skin problems is diet. Remove sugary foods from it (soda is baaaaad for your skin), and drink LOTS of water to flush out your pores. It's hard work, but if you stick to it, not only will your skin look better, you should lose weight as well. :) And it seems like (almost) everyone wants to lose weight.
     
  7. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    Going on the pill usually cures it.as its common myth irs caused by diet but hormones
     
  8. Kisa

    Kisa Member

    :) Not always a myth.
    True, hormones tend to play a big part in it. But at least for people in my family, diet was the cause.
     
  9. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    i'm sure if i grew a beard that would be quite the talking point.. - i am a girl :smile:

    Its not acne, and i do keep fit etc. This is obsessive and all consuming and i hate myself for it. whenever i look in the mirror i see lines, ageing, i think its worse everytime, I carry a mirror on me wherever i go, and obsessively look at myself even tho it upsets me. however people tell me that its not the case, and i often get i.d.'d and even for 15 films and i am a week away from turning 24. If thats the case why do i see what i see? and why the hell does it bother me this much? I don't want to care about this, I want to tear my skin off, or rip out my eyes so i can't see it.
     
  10. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    Its been proved its a myth but I cant comment cos I never had it.
    This is obv in your head.youre too young too have wrinkles.
    To be honest this sounds like you should talk to someone.
    I keep reading these posts.like try keep busy cos it sounds like you have too much time on your hands coming up with these things.i look at myself and the abuse im going throughh
    Then I just get nasty to these posters .im sorry
     
  11. Kisa

    Kisa Member

    Ah. Now that's a psychological disorder. I'd go talk to a doctor about it. The name of the disorder is at the tip of my tongue... Body dsyformic disorder? Something like that?

    It's where you look in the mirror and see all of these imperfections. (It's linked to OCD, so anti-depressants might help). Other people, will however tell you something different from what you see.

    It's like, some anorexic people continue to see themselves as physically fat, even after others see them as skin and bones. Their mind actually changes the way they perceive themselves. What they see is not what they really look like.

    Plastic surgery addicts tend to have this disorder, and many of them end up RUINING their original beautiful image, in an effort to correct all of the non-existent imperfections. Thoughts of suicide are also common among this disorder...
     
  12. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    Thanks for info
     
  13. Kisa

    Kisa Member

    Um, yeah. It's Body dysmorphic disorder.
    Please please please seek a doctor ASAP. Suicide rates for people with this disorder are DOUBLE of those with major depressive disorder. And it's actually linked to social phobia and major depressive disorder... You can get help, and feel better... I think you should at least attempt to get help before doing anything to physically hurt yourself.

    http://www.bddcentral.com/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=28
     
  14. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    I'm trying to keep busy but because of this and other issues i am afraid of people, so going out at all is extremely difficult. And just so you know, i didn't have 'too much time on my hands' when this started I was in my final year of university, finishing my dissertation and revising and taking my finals, pretty sure i had plenty to keep me busy and yet for some reason this happened and i don't know how to unthink it. People keep saying i am too young to have wrinkles.. well then i must be a phenomenon or deranged, i can see them, or i'm halucinating.. Whats really annoying is that i actually care, why? the do i care? i never cared before. I couldn't give a shit before. I don't mean to be obsessed by this, i don't do it on purpose, if i could just choose to stop thinking this way i f*cking would because this is torture, it hurts so much and i have no idea why.
     
  15. Kisa

    Kisa Member

    Actually, I can't say that it's any sort of disorder. Only a doctor can. But I think it's at least severe enough to go and see one...
     
  16. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    Thanks Kisa, i do know of that disorder its been suggested before, but nothing is helping me yet. I'm so very tired of feeling this way
     
  17. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    Go to the doctor.they will refer you.good luck.youre prolly stunning.
    Its always the ugly ones inside n out that get by.i was bullied all my lufe.called ugly.now I look at pics.i was beautiful.
    They were jealous so they dragged me down so I wouldnt know.
    I was obsessed by my looks.i worked myself into the ground to pay for cosmetic dentistry.
    I didnt even need it.
    I was raped and beaten after.doubt my teeth made.difference
     
  18. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    thanks for listening anyway

    starryeyed - i have read ur thread.. what you're going through is horrible and i can see why you get annoyed or whatever at people like me.. I don't want to be like this, if i could stop thinking this i would, i can't explain to you how much it hurts, you won't know unless you experience it, the same as i don't know what its like to be in ur situation. I hope things get better for you because you sound like u have alot going for you in urself, i hope people in your life will see that, or if not you will get away from them. :hug:
     
  19. shady9000

    shady9000 Active Member

    its not so easy when you're just not happy with yourself
     
  20. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    Hi hannah :)
    BIG GIANT HUG you are one of the nicest kindest people i know! I know people will say you shouldnt label every personality trait as a disorder but its obviously upsetting you to the point of feeling suicidal then it IS a problem. Possibly body dysmorpia or something? i dont know but you can allways talk to me and i know you have a lot of friends here xx :IrishDoll:
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.