i want to die

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by charmaberry, Sep 19, 2012.

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  1. charmaberry

    charmaberry Member

    i'm unimportant and worthless and i know this for a fact. i'm last on everyones list and although i'm not perfect i guess i still deserve it and i want to die. i dont want to hurt anymore, i want it all to go away. my son even just said when i asked him he'd be happy to not see me ever again. i want out so bad. i give up. please.
     
  2. charmaberry

    charmaberry Member

    i think it just goes to show when even on a forum designed to help i don't get spoken to.
     
  3. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    Life last longer than 34 minutes......

    So perhaps if no one replies after 10 days you could say "i think it just goes to show when even on a forum designed to help i don't get spoken to."
     
  4. charmaberry

    charmaberry Member

    did you think that was meant to make me feel better? do you really believe i can think 10 days into the future?
     
  5. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    Well I do not know. I hardly know you. Maybe you can. Predictions of the future is kinda difficult. As for making you feel better, I am not so good at it as I do not even know if you are male or female. Nor do I know your age much less your problems. In the absence of information, calculations is best left unattempted.
     
  6. Calleo

    Calleo Well-Known Member

    Hey hey, let's not be mad at each other here.

    And the only thing to do there is to take one day at a time.
     
  7. charmaberry

    charmaberry Member

    whats funny is you have the same name as my boyfriend. i am a 25 year old woman.
     
  8. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    I am happy that your boyfriend is also called Siew. It's not often that other people's boyfriend has the same name as mine.
     
  9. charmaberry

    charmaberry Member

    you know i meant the first part.

    also taking one day at a time is stupid, i've been taking one day at a time for 10 years. i cant be bothered anymore. the highs aren't as high as people say they should be and they aren't even monthly anymore. i can't do it, i really can't.
     
  10. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    I am happy to trade places with you. I could do with being young again. 25 years old sounds really great.
     
  11. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    By the way, what seems to be the problem. Taking things one day at a time is not the root cause of your problems.
     
  12. charmaberry

    charmaberry Member

    surely age doesn't matter?
     
  13. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    Age matters, if not then your son could do a lot of things but he could not because he is not yet an adult.
     
  14. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    You are 25, therefore your son must not be very old (i.e., he is not a grown adult).
    If you leave, who is going to be his mother?
    How can you want to leave a child that you created?
    Does your boyfriend not care about you at all?

    Have you seen anyone professionally for treatment of depression?
     
  15. charmaberry

    charmaberry Member

    The only reason i'm still here is because of my beautiful son, because I could not imagine anyone else looking after him, barring his father of course. And I don't feel that I am cared about enough, no. Have sought treatment but I came off my antidepressants after years of being on them cuz I thought I was doing better, now it's about 6 months without them and I can feel myself going down again.
     
  16. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    Sounds like this is a medical issue, you need to be constantly monitoring your mood. Are there any real world issues that might be causing you to feel depressed? Not every problem in the world is medical.
     
  17. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there and welcome to the forums, 'tis nice to meet you :) I'm sorry to hear you are suffering :hug: maybe you should go back on the meds? if they made you feel better then you've nothing to lose. I think you should keep fighting the fight for your beautiful son and for yourself, stay strong!
     
  18. charmaberry

    charmaberry Member

    well it is either just give up or try and get help again, but i don't want to be on pills for the rest of my life. i agree about the mood monitoring part, but my partner doesn't even understand my depression and how what i'm feeling is both justified and unjustifiable. no one really understands and i'm not even lying when i say i have no friends in my town to turn to.
     
  19. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I know all too well how that feels, I don't have anyone other than my mum that I can phone when I'm feeling suicidal , besides all she says is go to rehab because she thinks I'm not drugs, but I'm not. Maybe you won't have to stay on pills for the rest of your life, maybe only a short while hun? Also.. another thing, don't take offense when somebody doesn't reply right away because sometimes people just don't know what to say, can't find the words etc.. so wait a while hun :)
     
  20. charmaberry

    charmaberry Member

    its just sometimes as i'm sure you can imagine time can be of the essence when it comes to certain feelings. i guess i can be selfish, i know i can infact. it's strange, i'm not even typing like myself bceause people are around and i don't want them to see. argh. i just feel so alone. thank you all for your replies though, seriously
     
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