i want to disappear

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by enough1, Apr 23, 2008.

  1. enough1

    enough1 New Member

    i could just go away
    i know i wouldnt harm myself but i spend a lot of time thinking about it
    look at that bus going past - i look right at the front and wonder what it will feel like that moment before and if it would be quick
    everything should be good but its just too much
    its all go go go the future is bright you know
    just pre exam anxiety?
    dont care about money - short just now, will have lots soon, just a hassle
    love my baby
    love my wife but she is crazy
    another baby coming soon
    i love new baby already
    so whats the problem
    just selfish?
    just low?
    dont know who to talk to
    spent my whole time hiding - nobody knows. i'm very happy, honest. everyone thinks so. doing sooo well.
    must be something wrong with ME
    stop myself from breaking things, guess i need a release
    no one can help
    may as well post and the be happy for everyone
    all rests on me, so have to be you know
     
  2. enough1

    enough1 New Member

    and i'm scared
    i think i have to hide the stanley knife
    i'm scared to go into the drawer and touch it
    i'm an idiot
     
  3. enough1

    enough1 New Member

    theres a million unhappy souls why should i be special
     
  4. enough1

    enough1 New Member

    i feel a little bit better after being in chat
    i'm going for a long walk with some loud music
     
  5. DarnTired

    DarnTired Antiquitie's Friend

    I feel that way many times.

    It's not that you want life to end... just the pain, the shame, the guilt - you want that to end. Sometimes I think about it myself. I think of guns, but I don't own a gun and never will. So day by day, hour by hour, I feel good and I feel bad.

    There are other ways to get away from the pain. I'm glad chat got you up again (that's one way). Keep strong.