I want to do it.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by cult logic, Mar 27, 2009.

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  1. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    But I am not distressed?

    Usually when I am suicidal I am panicked and don't know what to do, but it's different now.

    I just feel like I should do it. Thinking about it isn't even upsetting me.

    Just like, I've lived long enough, and now it's time to die. Maybe it really is time?

    I've accomplished all that I will in my life, so maybe it should just end now.

    I really am feeling this is my best decision. I just have to find what I need, find a location, and do it.

    No screwing up like last time.
  2. nightowl15

    nightowl15 Active Member

    its never time to die. you say you have accomplished everything? well then make new goals for yourself. think that might work?
  3. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    I've not accomplished everything I set out to, merely all that I likely ever will.

    Which is in itself a pathetic amount, but it's all I can do.
  4. nightowl15

    nightowl15 Active Member

    then why not try and accomplish the ones you still have to?
  5. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Because I'm tired of it. Tired of being alive.

    Don't want it anymore.

    Suicide is seriously my best option here. I will do it as soon as I find the stuff I need.

    I just hope that I can find it.
  6. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    I think I have an idea how you feel. I don't tend to have suicidal feelings when i'm either depressed or manic, it's the time of stable mood in between when I feel most like doing it, with a clear mind so to speak.

    I personally would never talk anyone out of doing it as I feel it is an individual choice to live or die.

    If you can put off doing it, the way I manage to cling on is by setting a date in the future that I intend to kill myself in say 6 months time. By that time comes, I have found new interests and set myself new goals etc that the date has been and gone and I start all over again with a new date. A bit lame I know but I'm still here.
  7. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    Well not everyone commits suicide on impulse.
    That's what everyone thinks.... they assume people just snap and then kill themselves, but that is not always true. Some people contemplate their own demise and slowly build to that goal...... Maybe you've just realized whats best for you. You've weighed all the possible outcomes and this is the way you chose to walk. It is your life, do with it as you want.

    "The grass is always greener on the other side."
  8. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    I appreciate the support in my semi-decision.

    I guess I'm one of those people that are meant to kill themselves.

    All I have to do is find the thing I need for my method and build up a little courage.

    Hopefully I can do this by the end of the weekend.
  9. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter

    I dont need another side of green to know I am on the right side now..

    it's your life, do as you wish though I disagree with you strongly

    please reconsider it, once or 20000 times..

  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I don't believe that anyone is 'meant' to kill themselves. We are all here for a reason. I really hope you reconsider, there must be some things you'd still like to do,places you want to see,something that you enjoy doing. I'm sure you would be missed too :hug:
  11. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I feel as you do.
    Not distressed at all in my semi-decision.

    But there is always another way. Look at how to be alive, not how to die. Just put the decision on the backburner for a while, and see if you can't imagine life. Imagine that life is your only choice... and that death isn't a choice... at least for a while. Even just for the weekend. Imagine it is not even a possibility.

    We want you here :hug: :wub:
  12. dreamachine

    dreamachine Active Member

    in retrospect, i always feel like when i'm calm and at peace with the idea is the worst place to be. i have only made serious attempts in that frame of mind. when i am overly distressed and sobbing and feeling very upset and emotional i don't feel like i'd really do anything because it's so scary to think of your death in some ways. when i am calm, i am not afraid anymore. I also share the feeling that i'm just one of the people who is meant to commit suicide someday. i am sure that is how my death will happen.

    anyway babbling about myself.. i agree with everyone else who said you try some new goals or at least just put it off a bit to see if things get better. you never know when things will change for the better, or worse, i know, but as everyone here (including you) must be aware, everyone will have tough challenges and sometimes you just have to push through till you get to the better side. death is not that better side.
  13. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    I just don't know.

    I hate my life so much. If I failed it would only magnify my problems.

    If I cut my wrists there is a good chance I could survive.

    This sucks.
  14. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I agree with grahamd..You should set a date in the future and go about your dailey life..Set small goals for you to acheive..Once you start getting positive feed back from your accomplishments, that day will just slip right on by..
  15. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    I can try that I suppose.

    Not like I have anything to lose.

    Plus there is the problem that my method sucks. I would survive, and that would suck for everyone.

    I'll avoid trying to kill myself until I have my next appointment where they prescribe my new meds.

    At which point I can take the entire bottle and be done with it.
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