But I am not distressed? Usually when I am suicidal I am panicked and don't know what to do, but it's different now. I just feel like I should do it. Thinking about it isn't even upsetting me. Just like, I've lived long enough, and now it's time to die. Maybe it really is time? I've accomplished all that I will in my life, so maybe it should just end now. I really am feeling this is my best decision. I just have to find what I need, find a location, and do it. No screwing up like last time.