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I want to do it

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by White Dove, Sep 22, 2009.

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  1. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    i do, i really want to just do it and be done with it. my brother is mad at me, i mean really mad at me, because of my stupid self... the dang lady told him or rather made it very clear to him that he can not be hired because of me.

    my brother goes to this staffing company ( wise staffing ) for a job.. he goes through all their paperwork and then yesterday is told to come down for an interview, so he goes down for the interview ( i drive him cause he has no gas in his car ) well after sitting in my van for like 1 hour i decide to go in and see if they put him to work so i could leave and then come back later, well i walk in and he is right there in plain view with the guy who is giving him the interview, well i decide to ask the guiy if they have an app but he tells me they only hire through the staffing company.. so i then walk back out, not even in there 2 minutes while my brother is still getting interviewd well the next day the staffing company calls my brother and tells him to call them, which he does, then the lady proceeds to tell him that because i ( quote your sister ) came in and asked for an app it is against their so called company policy and that they can not hire him, then she proceeds to tell him it is because of your sister and he gets mad at me. so after telling me i tell him to call the linen company directly which he does and the guy there tells him, that he will call my brother because he wants him, well after two hours or so the staffing company call and tell him that they can not hire him at all, so i then call back and tell them that it is not right to treat him that way and that its discrimination, see they never told him about any policy such as they stated to him, he did not know nor did i know that one can not go in and ask for an app, it would be different if he had been in an office and i had interupted him but they were out in the open right at the outsdise door.. anyhow, after i get off the phone with the staffing they proceed to call my brother back and tell him that now they can not hire him at all.

    now my brothers mad at me. i feel like a complete failer and i just want to just die and leave this stupid life..

    it aint worth it to me and i sure as hell aint worth living either

    cause all i do is screw things up.. thats all i freeking do..
  2. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Your brother will get over this.

    This too shall pass.

  3. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    first of all, it is absolutely ridiculous that they would not hire him just because you came in and asked for an interview.Is that a crime now?I have to tell you,employment situation is in crisis whether you are in the US or UK,or elsewhere.Even temp agencies are making applicants jump through hoops now where once you could just walk in and apply.The competition is fierce.Your brother may not be telling the truth about why they won't hire him but even if they did say it was because of you..it is really because the temp agencies are overloaded.I have personal experience with this.
    Most likely it is neither yours nor your brothers fault at all.Certainly your brother should know better than to believe it is really your fault for his not being hired.
    Please don't internalize this..it is happening all over the globe.Life is hard enough without feeling its your fault someone else didnt get hired just because you had the audacity to want a job too!
  4. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    but if i had not went inside then he probably would have this job..

    i am a complete failer.. i really am...

    i done it.. i screwed it up.. as alwaysa me and my stupid self screw everything up..

    heck no wonder the daltons hate me, no wonder everyone hates me..

    i am a complete screw up
  5. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    but when i called them, they told me that it was because of me that they did not hire him.. and my brother called them from my phone and i overheard them.. so yes they did not hire him because of me..

    i screwed up again just like i always do..

    i fully believe they would be better off without me.. i mean, think about it? if something is causeing you harm then what do you do? you remove the harm.. if you get stuck with a thorn, you remove it, then i am that thorn..

    i dont know.. my minds all screwed up right now anyhow...
  6. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    My dear friend, I hate to tell you, but you are not a screw up.

    You are merely human! We all make mistakes and :poo:

    All we can do is decide how to go forward.

    If anyone is a screw up around here, it's me!

    My sister and I havent talked for years and I am ok with that.

    Things happen.

    You will be ok. This thing will blow over in time. Gotta be as uncomfortable as sitting on a bed of razors, fire and rattlesnakes, but....that's only temporary.

    Like they say, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

    Are you going to jail?

    Did you kill anyone?

    You'll be alright.
  7. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    no i did not kill anyone or going to jail..

    its just.. do you know what its like seeing my brother crying because of me. i kept him from getting a job he needs and now because of me he cant get a job there and he has 4 kids to take care of.. heck i not only hurt him i hurt his kids too.

    that is a huge hurt..
  8. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Alright...that is a tough spot to be sure.

    But think of it like this;

    If you end it, he will not only have lost a job opportunity, but his sister as well.

    And his kids will loose what I am sure is a great Aunt!

    Kinda making a bad situation worse, right?

    I have gotta go, work is over for today. I will try and get on later if I can. In the meantime stay safe and we can talk again tomorrow if you like.

    In the meantime, work on what I told u in the PM. Hand it over. What can it hurt?
  9. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    okay.. thanks
  10. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    how does that old saying go?

    its been a long hard ride? erm, something like that..:brett:
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