My current depressed state has come on extremely suddenly over the last two hours and has just been getting worse and worse. I emailed a friend explaining how I felt, as best I could and she told me maybe I do need to go back to a psych ward and she doesn't like hearing this off me. Also that I can't rely on her to change my mood and I need to get better on my own. All it takes from her is simple things to make my life happy and I can easily go on living. I've struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts for the last eight years and was recently diagnosed as schizophrenic. I was diagnosed as a child as being autistic too. Life has never been easy to live due to being autistic and now with a whole new label and now what appears to be lack of support from the one person who does help me, it's even harder to see what the point in living is. I don't feel like there's any point to me or anything I do. Nobody seems to care in the end, they all just say they do because it's the 'correct' and polite thing to do in the moment. Sure they would be sad for a bit if I killed myself but they'd easily get over it. It would have no real impact on their lives except in making it easier for them to be happy cause clearly I'm such a downer. I don't really have any proper friends, just some online. Things in person just never work out for me with people. I'm either rejected and made an outcast or things just don't go right. All I can think about is how I want to hurt myself and bleed and end up killing myself just to make it all end. I can't deal with the things in my head at all. I hate being alive and see no future for myself. What's the point in me when all I do is struggle with living and can't find joy in hardly anything. Surely in some circumstances suicide is the better option for some people? despite what the majority believe.