I want to end it all...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ThoseEmptyWalls, Apr 22, 2008.

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  1. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    I attempted suicide in the past.. An overdose when I was younger < Mod Edit Hazel: Method >. Im very upset with my mother for taking me to hospital when I overdosed.. I wanted nothing more but to end it all. I wish I could go back in time and hide myself a little better so she wouldnt of found me and took me to ER... Now Im married (crappy in itself) and I have a young child (that makes me even more depressed).. I think my family (my kid expecially) would be sooo much better off without me.. I dont have the nerve to kill myself, or at least not at this moment, but that doesnt stop me from feeling like I (and everyone else) would be better off if I just up and died..
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 23, 2008
  2. nosunshine

    nosunshine New Member

    I feel the same way. Our stories are quite close actually. When I was in high school I took < Mod Edit Hazel: Method > when I was mad at my mom. It didn't work. But I didn't have a headache for 2 years.
    I feel like my daughter would be better off without me in her life too. Iwish I had something uplifting to say. But I wanted to let you know that I'm in the same boat as you.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 23, 2008
  3. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Well, at least I know Im not alone in this world with my feelings. I must say that its very depressing and upsetting feeling the way that I do..
     
  4. aquarius

    aquarius Member

    I don't know your situation. Atleast you have a wife and kids. My wife dumped me 15 years ago. I havn't had a date since and I have absolutely zero - I mean zero friends. I'm a complete - I mean COMPLETE loser.

    I'm sure you have plenty of problems, but it could probably be worse - don't you think?

    I can totally relate about wanting to end it all. Everyday, I ask myself, "why do I allow it to go on? - life that is. I've been an alcolholic and I've used other vices to an extreme for decades. I wind up back in the same emotional place every time! - the place of "nowhere" - where I am now.

    I'll never end it all, so I've been turning to God lately, because He's all there is left for me. Maybe He can bring salvation to me in my miserable life.
     
  5. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    i understand how you feel and what you mean, i know its not easy, dealing with depression and normal family things is hard.

    it wasnt that long ago when i felt the same way, but apart from other members of the family i couldn't bear to leave my children without a dad, they deserve more than that.

    no matter how you feel your child does need a mum and would be worse off without you in their life.

    at 40 yrs old i decided that no matter how crap m life was, i had to deal with it just for them, if i was not a parent i may have died long time ago.

    but whatever you decide to do is your decision, but take a moment to think before you do something rash.

    be safe
     
  6. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    I decided to call the doctors office and ask for help. I spoke with a doctor there and told him what was going on and asked if there was anything he could do for me. He says no.. What do I get for asking for help.. Damn welfare showing up on my door calling me mentally unstable with a low mentallity (what...I scored well over 100 on the iq test and I have a low mentality..bull)... I almost blew up on the b*tch and my mom had to come up and deal with her so I wouldnt kill her or something else that Im sure I would of regreted... So, yes. I do think my son would be way better off if I were to lay down and die.... At least he would get to stay with his family instead of the state taking him because of his mentally unstable mother...Im so fed up with this crap.. I really dont know how much more I cant take before I up and break...
     
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