I want to end it today

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Yati, Jun 6, 2011.

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  1. Yati

    Yati Well-Known Member

    I'm just depressed right now... Just something with finance with my fiance and myself, she has them separated from myself. She's had a lot of medical problems the last semester. One that the University she went to should be paying because she slipped on ice that they didn't take care of, they are just wanting to take it to court. She's left with medical bills from the impending fall and ER stay. She's just working so hard at an unpaid internship full time and part time, she won't let me help. She's always had a hard time taking help... She basically took care of her family before her step dad kicked her out, she had to jobs in high school. She keeps buying me expensive gifts when it comes to birthdays, anniversary, and etc... She makes me accept them and won't let me help. I'm just so frustrated, I already have a will made out to her name in everything, and instructions to sell expensive things I have and to be given to her. I'm just frustrated with being helpless and I want to help her, but she won't let me. I'm useless and I feel like I want to die.

    Sitting here with my belt thinking about hanging myself....
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 7, 2011
  2. Yati

    Yati Well-Known Member

    *sigh* as I thought no one cares... goodbye...
  3. Jace

    Jace Active Member

    Your fiance sounds like a wonderful woman. Have you tried talking to her about how you feel about the situation?

    I have no personal experience with a situation like this but I just wanted to post to say that I'm thinking about you, and I do care.

    I hope you can get past this, hang in there.
  4. Yati

    Yati Well-Known Member

    I try and she doesn't want to talk about it. I'm just helpless at this point... I'm feeling about hanging myself for other reasons... I just am not happy because I feel alone.
  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    want to talk about the other reasons yati?..

    have you told your girlfriend how you're feeling about life?
    do you understand your girlfriend will be devestated if you take your life..

    she'd much rather have you here I'm sure than what you can leave her in a will

    I think it's admirble that your girlfriend wants to be independant and not 'use' you for money..
    she must love you deeply

    please put the belt away and call crisis line or a friend or can you talk to your parents?
  6. Yati

    Yati Well-Known Member

    Well, I'm still alive today... It's just she's always been independent because her mother being ill... And a useless abusive step father... I have the money to make her problems go away, but the only reason I have money because I don't do what she does... When she's fine with money she spends a lot... Main reason I won't put my finances with her, which makes her unhappy. I shouldn't speak about her like this, she is a caring person... I think she just wants to make others happy with it, mostly her little sister, which I understand. She's wanting to sell jewelry I don't want her to sell because her mother left it to her when she passed away. I've offered to buy it from her at the price of any place she finds, but she thinks it to be like me just handing her money. I want to buy them and give them to her, or if it makes her feel better hold on to them until she can buy them back. I just don't want her to go selling something so rich with personal value.

    And of course I'm always depressed because I'm a socially inept person who is very lonely...
  7. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    hey that's so nice of you to want to 'save' her precious jewelery..and i'm glad you're still here

    sounds like GF has a stubborn streak (Not in a bad way)

    I know about being socially inept too.. it sux!!

    I hope you'll stick around here and talk about things.
    It helps to share problems..
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 8, 2011
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