well it all stared 8 days ago when my boyfriend walked out on me, he was angry because i accused him of lying, he has a good memory, more than me, and he remember this day on 2002 when he sold me a ps2 game, i told him i don't remember this day and he got worked up by it and said "he needed space" and i screamed at him and slammed the kitchen door, i came out of the kitchen 20 minutes later and he was gone, 8 days later and no calls, text, he won't won't answer his door and i am starting to doubt everything, i don't think he loves me anymore, or he wants to see me anymore, i've tried to text him and call him to tell him how much i love him but he doesn't reply, to my messages. last night i went to his flat to post a letter, but like always he didn't answer the door, i can't get into the building to post through his letter box so there is nothing i can do about it. i have been crying constantly all week, been sick, and having nightmares aswell, i have no one to talk about this problem, my mother has mental health issues, my best friend hasn't talked to me for months and is in another country, i'm all alone right now. i have decided that today may be the day that i take my own life, i don't want to go through all this pain for the rest of my life, i don't want to carry on living without him for the rest of my life, we was so happy, we was going to get married, start a family, everything that made me happy is all gone now, that's why i hate god, he puts something good in your life and before you can enjoy it he takes it away just as fast so you can't even appreciate what happened to you. anyways my last resort is to call his brother and see if he has said anything to him, if that doesn't happen i am going to walk on the road lay down on it and wait for a car to run me over and end it all, i want a quick death and i don't want to come back ever! the price of living on this earth is far too great, it's like hell on earth and i cannot take anymore of this hell at all. it's not fair other people can be happy and have what i can never have, i have been destined to be unhappy for the rest of my life, why did i choose to live in a world like this? why can't i have what other people have? it's just not fair!!!!